all by myself

2006-07-14T00:53:00.000-07:00

2006-07-08T18:56:00.000-07:00

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Gorgeous Viking.

Where You Lived: Korea.

How You Died: Dysentery.

what's dysentery? o.0

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves.

You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't?

It's important to you that your lover is very attractive. You like to have someone to show off.

In fights, you love to debate and defend yourself. You logic prevails - or at least you'd like to think so.

A break-up usually comes as a shock to you. You always think things are going well.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

eh i don't agree with the last part! the others... maybe. oops.

You Are Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream

A classic and an original, no wonder everyone snakes your style!

What Flavor Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Are You?

whee my all time favourite flavour!

but i found out that you can just keep refreshing the page until you get the flavour you want cos the thing just randomly gives you any flavour. ><><>swim drown like a..er. drowning person.

2006-07-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

mid-year resolutions (in no particular order)
1. mug A LOT more. like alot. chinesemathsphysicsbiochemlitss
2. try not to be a failure at everything.
3. not to hate swimming so much
4. not to get so much scolding
5. to prac piano everyday
6. to be a hell lot more focused

first day of nats tmr. i intend to swim fast enough to get into the finals. bah. i'm going on a two week long hiatus after nats. .-.

when even my brightest days are overcast.

2006-06-30T07:11:00.000-07:00

quotes of the day!

"breaving is not respiration!"
"it is equalvilent!"

dots lar. i was trying really hard not to laugh. cos its not nice to laugh at someone even though they don't speak well.

which part of i.can't.swim.anymore don't you understand?

2006-06-26T07:08:00.000-07:00

gahh circuit is lame la. and it drains all your energy, so even if you're willing to try hard like i was today, you're just too pooped after that to go fast at all. fine maybe i'm just unfit and slow. but still. anyway good move yao!

you said you don't care if we slack cos then it'll only hurt us right? so then why still tell us what to do and what not to do. YOUNDON'TCAREREMEMBER! gah stoppit. maybe I should just stop huh. then there'll be less stress and pressure. huh.

quote yao:
"studies are more important than swimming, but i love swimming more"

i don't love swimming why does everyone around me love swimming! i love other stuff! not swimming! i was talking to my mum yesterday, and she was like "if you could just bear with it for another 2 years and train hard.." and i cut in "then i can quit?" and gave her this HUGE hopeful :D but she said NO ): nevermind i'll go training for the social aspect. i'll still not train properly. i can't bring myself to do it anymore that sounds wrong. mm its mental man. I'M MENTAL. GOING MENTAL! booo.

nevermind i still love ssc.

firstdayofschool was notbad. quite slack lar. yea tmr should be quite slack too esp if i get my jstar mag HAHA.

if only i could turn back time

2006-06-24T22:28:00.000-07:00

urgh school starts tmr! gahh. samm's bday party was fun! truth or dare people shhh! secrets! ><

i'm bored. like seriously bored. gahh. i don't want school to start! but then who does? rarrs back to the same old same old routine day in, day out.

i can't wait for the december hols. ):

I am worth $2,099,086 on HumanForSale.com

i was/am bored.

My teacher once said that
our class' attitude SUCKS

Never in my life have I regretted
eating so much everyday (:

The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always make me smile
you (:

When I’m nervous
i st-t-u-tt-tt-e-r and talk rubbish

The last time I laughed was when
peck almost kicked her slipper off the second floor x)

My hair is
shoulder length with brown streaks

My feet are
ugly

Last Christmas
i got crap presents

When I turn my head left, I see
my PIANO!

When I turn my head right, I see
the WALL

When I look down, I see
my phone! its in my lap

The craziest recent event was
sam's party yesterday! i had to chase mayumi around to get my phone back! and then some.

By this time next year,
hopefully not failing.

I have a hard time understanding
why i can't just love and be loved in return.
and why i am such an idiot.

One time at a family gathering
i actually talked to my cousins.

You know I like-like you if
you'll just know.

If I won an award, the first person I’d thank is
i have to think.

Triangles are
pointy. and make noise.

My ideal breakfast is
waffles with ice cream + bacon + sausages + whatever i feel like.

If you make me really happy
i'd give you a hug! (i'd do sth else if you're male)

Where do you plan to visit anytime soon
plan? i don't plan school going.

Boys are
cute and sweet, but can be irritating, oh, and male.

I'd stop my wedding if
someone tried to stab me.

The world could do without
liars and hypocrites

I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than
lick the belly of a cockroach.

Most recent thing you've bought yourself
FOOD.

Most recent thing someone else bought you
a too cool pair of cargo pants.

My least favourite time of the day is
waking up to go to school

And by the way, please hold on
i need to pee.

The last time I was high
was this morning during gym when everyone was throwing med balls.

The last person I talked to told me
the 183 club concert should come to singapore. (:

I shouldn't have
wasted my hols slacking

Last night I
went to sam's party and got scolded for not wanting to train.

There's this girl I know who
swims waay faster then me. most people do.

I'll tell the next person who makes me really happy
I LOVE YOU!

I'm listening to
scotty doesn't know! - lustra

I last ate
homemade brownies.

My bedsheet is
er white with hot pink stripes.

I smell
something hell tasty.

On my table, I have
a pile of untouched work and my diary.

My full name is
Gan Su-Li Katrina

The next 4 people who are gonna do this quiz are
hungry. cos i am.

told you i was bored. got this from mel's blog haha.

yes school starts tmr. i'm already looking forward to the nat day holiday.

your arms are my sky/

2006-06-14T01:11:00.001-07:00

can you believe that the holidays are half over already! ohno i haven't started genuine mugging yet>< just some cursory looking through stuff and doing a bit of revision.

you know what? i'm glad we had that talk. at least it cleared alot of stuff and now i feel a lot better. i hope i didn't mess up a lot. i just don't want those stupid things to ruin our friendship. let's just go back to normal, right from the beginning, all over again? that sounds like a good plan. i'll just forget about all this. ><

trying to do maths gahh. i don't know what i'm doing. coordinate geometry ohmygod.

training's been..bad as usual. i can't move. must be some kinda mental barrier cos i know my redbloodcell count and lung thingo is okay. rarrs its the motivation i tell you. singapore open is in 5 days. wtf just go there and anyhow chiong a few laps la. just hoping to retain the sameold sameold times, nothing more. mm got mathstuition in a while going to sleep. i can't think straight. ~~notwhenican'tgetyououtofmyhead~~

2006-06-14T01:11:00.000-07:00

can you believe that the holidays are half over already! ohno i haven't started genuine mugging yet>< just some cursory looking through stuff and doing a bit of revision.

you know what? i'm glad we had that talk. at least it cleared alot of stuff and now i feel a lot better. i hope i didn't mess up a lot. i just don't want those stupid things to ruin our friendship. let's just go back to normal, right from the beginning, all over again? that sounds like a good plan. i'll just forget about all this. ><

trying to do maths gahh. i don't know what i'm doing. coordinate geometry ohmygod.

training's been..bad as usual. i can't move. must be some kinda mental barrier cos i know my redbloodcell count and lung thingo is okay. rarrs its the motivation i tell you. singapore open is in 5 days. wtf just go there and anyhow chiong a few laps la. just hoping to retain the sameold sameold times, nothing more.

mm got mathstuition in a while going to sleep. i can't think straight. notwhenican'tgetyououtofmyhead

2006-06-06T06:49:00.000-07:00
UPDATE! i remembered somemore stuff from sea age. ><><
"is the tub too full? i'm quite fat leh, will it overflow when i get in?"

etc. super funny la. man i wish i were going to combined schools.

ohyeah birthday cake for rainer. lol we smashed a cheesecake into him! me and khoonniw were standing behind him and the cheese got onto us also. >< had to go shower all over again. lol but it was fun.

and ICESKATING! haah had lotsa wounds and stuff, but i think benng's were muchmuch worse. spent almost the whole time at the mallplace skating. hahaha 4 bucks for as long as you want. man i wish sg had that too.

mm yup i'll update somemore when i think of it.

2006-06-05T05:52:00.000-07:00
sea age was amazing..! hahaha we had so much fun, but you know what? most of the trip is just a blur of great memories, so don't ask me for specific details. you have to jog my memory first. i only really clearly remember the last night cos it was hell fun!

yup so on the first day, we got to the hilton at about 2pm jakarta time and slacked around until we had to go training. the pool was the same one as last year's asean cup pool. the one with the shaky stairs. >< second day was training in the morning and then one whole day of total slacking around again. i love it when we go overseas for comps cos we always get quite alot of time to slack at the beginning. x)

third fourth fifth days were the comp. first day of comp was pretty ok i guess. had 100 back in the morning and 100 fly in the afternoon. that day was a friday, so they had to stop the meet at 1130 for prayers. i was seriously praying that they could at least finish the morning's events, or i would have had to swim 100 back then 100 fly back to back. >< thank goodness they finished the 100 back in the morning. i lost 2nd place in 100 fly by 0.03s! gahh.

second day was ok also. had 50 fly in the morning. also lost 2nd by 0.03! i don't know what's with fly and the 0.03s. >< yup last event on the last day was 50 back. i HAD to get at least a silver for that after having lost 2 silvers by THAT much. so i figured, ahh what the heck. justchiong la. nothing to lose anyway. and HAHA got first. finally! 100percent reimbursement! free holiday HAHAHA.

mm so overall results.
50 fly - 30.47, third
100 fly - 1.07.62, third
50 back - 32.16, first !
100 back - 1.11.68, fourth

aand on to the last night!

the gala was alright i guess. was pretty silly cos the waiters would serve the food, and there would be a performance when everyone was eating, so obviously people would rush to the front to watch right? and while we were watching, the dumbass waiter would clear the food even though the food would be like almost untouched. we were like WTH. so yea the dinner was quite a failure in that aspect. it was pretty subdued. oh, and you looked hell cute, btw.

i think the rest of the night spent at the hotel was waay more fun. x)

ok so the first part of the night was quite quiet and we just kinda stoned in the hotel room, but then after that things got kinda better cos we ended up playing truth or dare. mm but this time somehow wasn't as fun. i was kinda bored so i just sat at the side and watched/stoned haahaha.

we played hide and seek in the dark by the pool! haha it was super fun although we only played one sad round. we should have played more ): joel tried to scare us by rustling the bushes. lol. quite funny seeing people get freaked out.

this post is disjointed huh. i have so many memories rushing about in my head its imposible to be coherent at this point in time.><

yup then went up to joel's room again, and after alot of "discussion", we decided to watch euro trip. haha super lame show with no storyline whatsoever. good light entertainment i guess.

i'm really gonna miss this sea age. i can't believe its over so soon already. i'm gonna miss my half of the chunky monkey khoonnie! ): make more comps for me! >< i miss everybody already! especially KHOONNIE LIANG my idiot roomate who's damn fun to suan. x(

excerpt of conversation between khoonnie and kat x)
khoonnie: omg all the beef is so nice!
kat: wah you took so much!
khoonnie: haha so much beef!
kat: khoonnie is BEEFY!

lol x) i can't think of what else i said to suan her right now. i'll post those if i can be bothered at a later date.

i realised nicktan is uber funny hahaha. :D

QUOTE:
"why is that immigration person so slow? SACK HIM LA!"
-nicktan HAHAHA.

yup i guess i'll stop here.

i really am a failure this time round. gahh khoonnie you have to teach me now! >< CHUNKY monkey!

scotty doesn't know,
so don't tell scotty!

2006-05-30T07:30:00.000-07:00
YAY leaving for sea age tmr! thanks to all those who wished me and i'll miss all of you! LOVE YOU GUYS <3333>< yea thats it. short post la. hope i didn't forget to bring anything. AH SLIPPERS! -rushes off-

BYEE I'LL SEE YOU GUYS ON TUES! (:

2006-05-27T07:09:00.000-07:00
I AM FREE!!!! finally. hahaha now there's only rs to do la. that's not so bad. BYE HIEW! OFF TO JAPAN BUY ME SOMETHING I LOVE YOU! <33

yay leaving for sea age on wed. mm should be fun. junkfoodparty! x)

i'm high now la. mm got training tmr. byee this is a short post! i'm so r a n d o m. (reminiscent of e.e. cummings.)

2006-05-23T08:35:00.000-07:00
i know this is lame and i'm supposed to be mugging, but i'm counting this as a break. x) (kopped from vinna's blog hahaahahah)

<60>have you:

1) smoked
2) consumed alcohol
3) slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
4) slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
5) made out with someone of the opposite sex
6) made out with someone of the same sex
7) had someone in your room of the opposite sex
8) watched porn
9) bought porn
10) done drugs
TOTAL: 5

11) taken pain killers
12) taken someone else's prescription medicine
13) lied to your parents
14) lied to a friend
15) snuck out of the house
16) done something illegal
17) cut yourself
18) hurt someone
19) wished someone to die
20) seen someone die
TOTAL: 6

21) missed curfew
22) stayed out all night
23) eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
24) been to a therapist
25) been to rehab
26) dyed your hair
27) received a ticket
28) been in a wreck
29) been to a club
30) been to a bar
TOTAL: 1

31) been to a wild party
32) seen the Mardi Gras
34) had a spring break in Florida
35) sniffed anything
36) wore black nail polish
37) wore arm bands
38) wore t-shirts with band names
39) listened to rap
40) own a 50 cent CD
TOTAL: 2

41) dressed gothic
42) dressed prep
43) dressed punk
44) dressed grunge
45) stole something
46) been too drunk to remember anything
47) blacked out
48) fainted
49) had a crush on your neighbour
50) had someone sneak into your room
TOTAL: 1

51) snuck into someone else's room
52) had a crush on someone of the same sex
53) been to a concert
54) dry humped someone
55) been called a slut
56) called someone a slut
57) installed speakers in your car
58) broke a mirror
59) showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
60) brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush
TOTAL: 2

61) consider Mac, Dre, e40 or Mistah Fab your favorite rapper
62) seen an R rated movie in theaters
63) cruised the mall
64) skipped school
65) had an eating disorder
66) had an injury
67) gone to court
68) walked out of a restaurant without paying
69) caught something on fire
70) lied about your age
TOTAL: 3

71) owned an apartment
72) cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend
73) cheated with someone
74) got in trouble with the police
75) talked to a stranger
76) hugged a stranger
77) kissed a stranger
78) rode in the car with a stranger
79) been sexually harassed
80) been verbally harassed
TOTAL: 1

81) met face to face with someone you met online
82) stayed online for 12 hours straight
83) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight
84) watched TV for 12 hours straight
85) been to a fair
86) been called a bad influence
87) cursed
88) prank called someone
89) laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex
90) cheated on a test
TOTAL: 7

91) cheated on homework
92) held hands with someone of the opposite sex
93) been pushed into a pool
94) played pool
95) watched 5 hours of mtv straight
96) had a crush on someone 10 years older than you
97) had a crush on someone younger than you
98) wear eyeliner
99) skinny dipped
100) laughed at someone who was seriously hurt
TOTAL: 5

total: 34! i'm an angel. x)

i'm no angel.
who am i kidding.

2006-05-22T07:27:00.000-07:00
shate i know digressing is evil but i can't concentrate on anything. my mind is all over the place. i really need to get things sorted out before i can really sit down to mug, but by the time everything in my brain is where it should be, i think i'll be out of time. i think i must be a really evil person. i'm just killing myself slowly here. i know i should be studying, but everytime i look at the chem textbook i just want to cry. i know i'm being an escapist here, but it would help if there was actually someone to explain everything to me. i only get the simple stuff like preparation of gases. SOMEONE SAVE ME.

i think my life is a mess. it really is. i can't do anything right. can't swim well, can't study well, damn it i'm even a bad classchair. i'm sorry i've let somany people down. i really try. but it gets so hard. i really need a break now. really need to let some steam off. i want to pound the wall and scream and punch something and inflict pain on myself just so that the physical pain will take my mind off the emotional and mental turmoil. i'd really just like to know what my life is supposed to be about, cos its so screwed it can't possibly be for anything.

yeah, i know.
i'm useless.
i admit it.

2006-05-14T06:50:00.000-07:00
GAH maths is tmr! i was panicking so much at home just now cos i really couldn't do the quadratic functions! and i still can't. omg wish me luck for tmr cos i really need it this time. i'm terrified that i'm gonna fail. ><

omg i'm dying. chem eoi in 2 weeks! i'm totally gonna flunk that too. okok short update lar. should go sleep now. really short on sleep this week.

i wish you'd look at me that way
your beautiful eyes looking deep into mine
telling me more than any words could say.
but you don't even know i'm alive.

2006-05-11T22:40:00.000-07:00
i'm digressing. i'm supposed to be doing math, but i'm taking so long just to finish the functions revision worksheet. i have to stop after every question to consult the textbook, then try to relate what's inside there to the question. i've spent 45 mins figuring out the first 3 questions. i'm so screwed for maths la. i got most of the rev ws questions wrong, and i'm totally lost when it comes to quadratic graphs. like finding the equation of the curve and stuff. and why on earth would they think we'd even want to know these things? maybe 1 in 200 people is going to be a mathematician, but i don't see how learning advanced math will help anyone of us lead better lives in the future. BAH.

ok, so i've just finished it. and it wasn't that bad..i guess. once you've kind of - note, kind of - gotten the basics straight. i'm quite ok with trigo i think. its the dumb quadratic graphs thing that i'm terrified of. >< i bet i'm gonna fail this test. and though we're on the subject of failing, please don't even get me started on chem spa, chem eoi, chinese etc. ahhh i'm dead.

i'm standing on the edg
e

break, jump or fly?

2006-05-06T21:30:00.000-07:00
OMG there's lit and physics tmr and i'm completely not prepared. SHATE la i'm surely gonna die. i dunno why i'm blogging again after having blogged already last night, but i just can't seem to concentrate on physics. ><>:|

i was just thinking last night. i decided that since i've been forced to continue swimming until j2 at least then i'll just go to the pool and do whatever i can like a robot. don't expect me to have anymore passion for a sport that just makes me want to scream and shout and cry. at best i'll do it without saying anything, but i'll be screaming inside, be sure of that. and i suppose another reason i'm continuing is just so that i can see you. granted that its not really very often, but at least i do still get to see you sometimes, and that's enough for me. (:

okok i'm sorry for making everyone who reads my blog unhappy too, but there's no other place for me to write this stuff, so just bear with me. ><

i feel as if i really can't smile anymore. don't ask me why. i may seem happy most of the time, but honestly, that's all a facade, nothing more. humans are such stupid creatures. i hate all the phony pretensions and the walls that we erect around ourselves. why can't we just be sincere.
huh. LUNCH. what's the point of even eating. rarrs. forgetit. i'll go away and hide myself under a rock.

my world is falling apart.

2006-05-06T01:41:00.000-07:00
2.4 was ok i guess. decided that i was tired halfway through and ended up walking about 2 rounds. dots. i figured i only had to go fast enough to get an A right? so i was like, what the heck.. x)

hell this morning was retarded lar. we had swum like 8x50 of the warm up when there was thunder and lightning so we had to get up and do dryland. >< its not as if we did anything productive for that.. 45 mins(?) that we were up there. jaan went through the targets for each individual group by school nats, and i tell you, i can't make half the stuff for the D group even. 16x50 fly with fins on 60, perfect underwater kick, no breaking stroke, breathing every 2nd stroke. like what the *! looking at his criteria, i realised i wasn't even as fast as the smallies man. heck la. i dunno how everyone gets that kind of motivation to train hard anyway.

then he asked who thought all those times and sets were hard but achievable in the long run, and almost everyone stoof up but edmund, marc-us and me. dots. i should have just stood up with everyone else. and jaan just HAD to go ask why each of us thought the sets were unachievable (i guess i should have seen that coming though) so i had to answer right. then he made me go sit next to him and like blah blah blah. and i dunno why the hell i started tearing la. for clarification's sake, i'd rather you guys helped me quit swimming, and not help motivate me anymore, cos i'm just totally sick of it. the only reason i actually bother to go anymore is

1. i'm forced to go
2. i go to see friends.

its as simple as that.

doesn't life just seem meaningless at times? like you're in a dark, endless tunnel of which there is no way out? that's my life at the moment. good at nothing, can't do anything right, get something done but end up screwing the whole blasted thing.. the list goes on. and i don't think its gonna get any better.

so that brings me to another question. what on earth is the meaning of life? its a question that has been asked multiple times by multiple people, but its just never occurred to me to ask that question.. until now. is there nothing more to life than floundering about like a dead fish on the deck of a fishing boat, neither getting anywhere nor going anywhere? like a hamster running on its wheel in that endless cycle that repeats itself over and over again. life is exactly like that. you feel trapped yet there's nothing you can do about it.

i'd give anything to leave this life behind and go someplace happier where i don't have to worry about anything. someplace.. i dunno. there's no such thing as heaven on earth anyway. not for me at least. oh what the hell is the point of writing all this anyway, its not like its gonna alleviate any problem anyway.

i hate my life
its as simple as that.

2006-05-01T06:23:00.000-07:00
yesterday was a GOOD day! x)

first there was training in the morning that was totally slack as usual. he was trying to scold ppl but not really succeeding at it very well, cos as far as i know, there were many people actually laughing at him. :D

yup, so after a highly satisfying training session came gala (later in the day of course)

gala this year was wayy better then last year's. the emcee was so much better than last year's. still corny, but at least he was amusing everyone, and not just the small kids. yeaa. the food was pretty ok. pizza, spaghetti, erm cakes (BROWNIES! ah, heaven i tell you. x)), laksa etc. whee at least they gave better food than asean cup >< i think they had a serious lack of waiters ok. you know they didn't even fill our cups up once!

the skit was fantastic! everyone enjoyed it so much! (i think) and leonard was just sitting there with a half pissed half act cool face. y'know, like, i-want-to-look-pissed-but-i'll-look-like-a-bad-sport-so-i'll-smile-abit kinda face. AHA that was waayy cool. i'm sorry i didn't get to do the hamster dance you guys! >< i really wanted to but had to rush off alr. nvm, there's always next year huh.

and then at 940, ZOOM, off to marissa's house for sleepover! got there quite late cos mum kinda got lost and we ended up on west coast highway. >< hmm yea but it was super fun.went upstairs to find marissa lying on the floor wrapped up in a blanket moaning about stuff to the others. haha secrets all around! shh. x)) yup. then we watched the sisterhood of the travelling pants and pigged out on junkfood. i kinda missed the middle part of the movie cos i was thinking about.. stuff, but i think overall it was a good movie. spent the rest of the night pestering zes' friends on msn HAHA. was really funny but i think zes had a lot of explaining to do this morning right. haha oops.

then went back up to the room and marissa started moaning again. and then she made me think, and it made me think of stuff i'd thought i had gotten over. rarrs. read an archie comic to shut it out. >< yup. think we went to bed at 4am? i'm gonna regret it tmr man. but on the bright side, there's no maths tmr. haha they're slack days, even week tuesdays are.

yup. so, a great ending to the long weekend. :D we HAVE TO HAVE TO do it again sometime ok! haha marissa yanhan zes kristin <33!

love
tangles on a string
like slow spinning redemption.

2006-04-25T07:16:00.000-07:00
look at our back and front doors! doesn't the chocolate bar look perfectly edible? and the charaters look so real right! kudos to the ppl who drew them! (:

HAHAh look at yanhan and me. [yanhan i'm sorry if you don't like this, cos i do!] rgsbookday 06! i know this entry is really late so i shan't elaborate further, and i know i look like shate but i don't care either!

erm yea, anyway, hiew recently wrote me a poem, but i currently can't find the letter. hiew don't kill me! i now i promised to put it on my blog, but i really can't find it! sorry sorryy.

er what else. tons of tests next week, and i'm gonna flunk all of them! maths chem bio physics chinese.rarrs. my gpa this year is gonna be superlow la. ><

y'know what? eeverytime i see a swimming pool, i feel like screaming. i dunno why i'm so sick of swimming, but i've been doing it for so long, and when you do the same thing day in, day out, you're bound to get sick of it. i have no more motivation left. oh sure, sea age. haha yea it'll be fun and all, but even if i do get a medal (which i won't), its not gonna help me get a job or anything next time right. dots la, one stupid medal. and i know, i know, i told mum i want to quit after sec4, but she was like NOO, how can, you know how many ppl would give a lot to get where you are and blahdeeblah. i'm not denying that i'm happy with my success thus far, but its jus that i really see no point in continuing with somthing if you don't enjoy it anymore. i'd rather not be as good at something that i enjoy, then be fantastic at something i enjoy. (quote: career guidance : follow your passion!) yup, and i'm no longer passionate about swimming. i never was actually. it was just something i did cos mum enrolled me in it in the first place and i had no other cca, so i continued, but over the years its become such a bore. the only reason i go training nowadays is to see friends. >< heck la, its not as if i'm gonna get much further anyway. ooh, maybe the sea games? dots. yea right. that's an untouchable dream, especially with all the foreigners they're bringing in.

so come sec4, i say, to hell with swimming! i'll go join odac or smth more fun.

oh, and ive got contacts. (:

what an anticlimax.

and every night there's a new crowd,
but its always you i'm thinking about.

2006-04-18T06:01:00.000-07:00
ok, so i'm backdated. asean cup ended 2 days ago and here i am blogging only now, though i'm supposed to be doing my maths pt. oh well, just call me the perpetual procrastinator who does things at the last minutes and can't get them right no matter how hard i try. ah well. whatever ><

yup. so.. asean. asean was. quite fun, but kind of boring at the same time. did pretty ok, only one pb [100freerelay] but was quite close to my pbs, so i'm pretty hapy with the results.

50 back - 31.76
100 back - 1.10.56
50 fly - 30.45 - lost to dandan by 0.01! ><
100 fly - 1.07.34
50 free - 29.98
100 free - 1.05.01
100 free [relay] - 1.02.90

finally a 1.02 for 100 free la. but i guess i didn't have the motivation to go hard for the individual event as compared to the team event where there was pressure and motivation. it just goes to show that motivation plays a huge part in determining whether a person does well or not huh. that's probably why i don't do well during comps. i.have.no.motivation.!

ah well, overall it was notbad lar, cos this time more ppl could swim as opposed to previous years where not many ppl went so there wasn't much club spirit or anything. the relays were exciting, what with all the mad cheering and screaming and jumping up and down. haha..

the gala was. well. forgettable. it ended at 8.30 for goodness sakes. and its not as if those 2 and a half hours were very enjoyable. the food was not really good, there wasn't enough time allocated for the dinner, not many foreign clubs went, everyone was so stoned.. various factors. and the worst part of the night was when we went up on stage to perform our hamster dance. sounds cute and fun right? but some people just had to come up on stage and gay around. like, whatever la. if you want to gay around normally, fine, maybe its kind of amusing, but when you just anyhow gay around when people are performing, i just think its not very nice. and that's putting it lightly. i should have just pushed them right off the stage, since they were next to me. rarrs. ruined the whole night.

and they lied about having asked us somemore. huh. there's a limit to having fun, anywhere and everywhere you go.

hmm and after the gala everything fell even flatter. cos usually if we're overseas, then after the gala ends, we'll all go back to the hotel and play and have a crazy night of fun. but this time, all we did was go home and stone or do hw. >< rarrs, somehow i don't think next year's asean will be that fun..

there's more i would like to say about stuff that's been happening, about the (irritating) small kids, about the state of our squad etc, but i shall refrain. for now anyway.

sorry this post's so miserable, but i am miserable. ): don't ask why. only my diary knows. oh, and hiew.

cos i don't think you'd give me another look anway.

2006-04-12T07:34:00.000-07:00
asean cup in 2 days! i'm kind of excited, but i'm also not cos i'll be seeing people i do'nt want to see (hiew you know who. >:|) and i know i'm not gonna do well. but asean isn't really about doing well i guess. its more about having fun with friends. (:

rarrs what's wrong with our club nowadays. everything's so messed up and.. i shan't say anymore. ssc ELITESQUAD ppl you know what i'm talking about right! yup. our secret! and sscelite shall live on forever, even if they abolish it completely. we'll still be bonded with each other and work together, and have all the a and b group lanes to ourselves. hah. LOVES!

grar someone made me so pissed today. i shan't even look at this person at asean if i can help it. or else i think i'll just feel like puking. i know i'm not a nice person. but i certainly do not care. i shall say what i want to.

physics test was pretty good considering the fact that i didn't study much. got 80.5 percent. ahah great since its 20% of the whole year's results. i'm hoping my other subs won't pull my gpa down. ><

nevermind about our lousy package ssc ppl! we'll still work hard and do our best right! i believe in my beloved ssc elite! <33

2006-03-26T05:07:00.000-08:00
nag was.. ok overall, although i only did 2 pb's. actually kind of expected it since i haven't trained hard since dec. but i was really surprised about my 100 fly. woots. got a surprise medal in 400im. thanks khoonnie! x)

erm what else. i'm really confused now. will sea age be held in bali or in jakarta, cos i don't really want jakarta. i want someplace different and.. exotic? yea. thought it'd be a good change. ><

i have nothing to blog about! back to school tmr! (one week later than everyone, which makes it all the more hard.) and i want to / don't want to go back. boy, talk about mixed feelings man. o.0

i want to watch aqmfs ep 6 and 7! i'm so far behind. gosh. i am mad. (:

nothing to talk about man. why do you dao me one moment and talk to me so much the next? i'm confused. >< forgetit.

2006-03-19T04:59:00.000-08:00
hmm the first day of nag wasn't too bad considering the fact that i haven't really been training well and all. didn't think i was even gonna make 1.13 for 100 back, but i did a 1.10.56. half a second off my pb, but oh well. the finish sucked. like really sucked. i misjudged the number of strokes i had to take (which is kind of a first) and ended up crashing into the wall. probably could have gone faster. ><

and 100 fly! whoo that was really a surprise. did a pb! 1.07.09! woots. and its not like i've been training fly either.

dunno if i can qualify for sea age though. guess i'll just have to wait and see.

but we must qualify (right kor! x) ) haah this year's sea age should be fun. its in bali! how exotic.

hiew says to mention her. HIEW HAS BEEN MENTIONED.

rarrs 4 more days of na got go. ><

ssc swimmers all the way! we will all do well! x)

2006-03-05T05:14:00.000-08:00
this morning was..memorable, so to speak.

got up late. about 720, but we weren't really rushing or anything, and left the house at about 730am. we were minding our own business and driving PROPERLY along the straight stretch of highway when something came from the side and crashed into us. like the two cars were driving door to door, parallel after the first impact. the jolt was seriously quite scary. the whole car shook. kinda hard to describe, but i suppose you can imagine what it felt like. ><

so yea, to cut a long story short, we spent a whole lot of time by the roadside trying to settle stuff, so by the time i got to training it was like 815? haha and i missed one third of the heartrate set! but i swam the rest properly today ok. seriously. thought today's session wasn't bad. haha yup.

couldn't go for the asc opening ceremony either, cos mum had to go to the insurance company to asses the damage, so i stayed at home and studied bio. BIO TEST TMR! >< i still can't remember everything, and my brain is already going into overload. craphead. rarrs. i'm dead. there's quite alot to remember o.0

oh well, better go and study now then. byeeee~

2006-02-21T05:25:00.000-08:00
i HATE my ankle. i want a new, properly functioning left ankle for my birthday, please.

was doing sprints today and my ankle was hurting like crap, so i was only kicking with one leg. doing fly somemore. then jaan asked me to redo that one. and i got pissed. oops. cos i figured it wasn't my fault that i had a faulty ankle right? yea and i decided to just sprint my guts out to prove i couldn't go fast even if i tried anyway. but i guess i was kinda wrong, cos i did a 30.36, which is a pb. but i'm still half convinced that the time i got was wrong or smth. its quite weird to do a pb with a screwed ankle.well.

i want to do an internship with lime mag! anyone besides marissa want's to do with me? i'm tryignt o see if i can get an attatchment during the june hols or smth. should be quite fun to get to meet all the famous ppl and see how they actually write the articles and arrange all the stuff. x)

swim carn tmr. ><>< >< >< not like i'm not going to for 50 back ,but i'm guessing it won't be so bad. lol. i should have taken 50 fly and 50 back! rarrs.

no more mood to blog. ooooooooops. byebye then. x)

that's me in the spotlight
losing my religion

2006-02-16T19:35:00.000-08:00
sli was not bad (: kinda warm, but twas pretty interesting other than that.

the dances were notbad also. the sec4 prefects' and the spls' dances were the best i think. liked them anyway. x)

hmmmmm. i reall yhave nothing to blog about nowadays. er. club night later. i have to swim 400 im and there're only 2 people swimming! >< ahhhhh i don't want to swim. gonna be really slow and malu-ated. I don't want. i can't even sprint 200 im, let along 400 im. please la. crazyy. :|

eck.

till the end of the world (:

2006-02-15T06:42:00.000-08:00
O tell me the truth about love.

Some say love's a little boy,
And some say its a bird.
Some say it makes the world go around,
Some say that's absurd.
And when i asked the man next door
Who looked as if he knew,
His wife got very cross indeed
And said it wouldn't do.

Does it look like a pair of pyjamas,
Or the ham in a temperance hotel?
Does its odour remind one of llamas
Or has it a comforting smell?
Is it prickly to touch as a hedge is,
Or soft a eiderdown fluff?
Is it sharp or quite smooth at the edges?
O tell me the truth about love.

Our history books refer to it
In cryptic little notes,
Its quite a common topic on
The Transatlantic boats;
I've found the subject mentioned in
Account of suicides
And even seen it scribbled on
The backs of railway guides.

Doesit howl like a hungry Alsatian,
Or boom like a military band?
Could one give a first-rate imitation
On a saw or a Steinway Grand?
Is its singing at parties a riot?
Does it only like classical stuff?
Will it stop when one wants to be quiet?
O tell me the truth about love.

I looked inside the summer-house;
it wasn't over there;
I tried the Thames at Maidenhead,
And Brighton's bracing air.
I don't know what the blackbird sang,
or what the tulip said;
But it wasn't in the chicken run,
Or underneath the bed.

Can it pull extraordinary faces?
Is it usuallt sik on a swing?
Does it spend all its time at the races,
Or fiddling with pieces of string?
Has it views of its own about money?
Does it think Patriotism enough?
Are its stories vulgar but funny?
O tell me the truth about love.

When it comes, will it come without warning,
Just as i'm picking my nose?
Will it knock on my door in the morning,
Or tread in the bus on my toes?
Will it come like a change in the weather?
Will its greeting be courteous or rough?
Will it alter my life altogether?
O tell me the truth about love.

-W.H. Auden.

i love this poem (:

and sli rehearsal today was so long and so draggy and i was so tired cos i had maths tuition straight after that so i almost died. argh so sleepy now but i can't sleep. howhowhow. another long day tmr.

ah what the heck.
BYE.

2006-02-13T04:51:00.000-08:00
i realised my blog is REALLY REALLY dead. >< sorrysorry, really haven't had time to update. and i couldn't be bothered also la. hahaha oops. wasn't supposed to say that. feeling abit high now. listening to tiao bo by 5566. HAHAHA i'm crazy aren't i. i was afraid of that.

why am i talking to myself? o.0

finished watching mvp qingren not too long ago. i dunno what's wrong with me nowadays. i've actualy started liking taiwanese serials. >< and the songs and all. eck. but ok, i admit. chinese songs are QUITE nice lar.

this post is such crap. ohno.

asian swimming champs thing coming soon. i don't really wanna swim, but mum said i should, so i thought, just go and anyhow swim. something like that. but i really don't like training anymore. no more motivation and there's nothing to train for anymore. >< every training session is such a drag.

my life is a drag. x)

ahhh forgetit. should go revise stuff now i guess. at least my blog isn't as dead as before eh.

buhhbye.

2006-01-23T04:00:00.000-08:00
dag was fun! x)

did only 3 pbs, and two out of the three were for fly! what's wrong with me man.

1.07 for 100 fly. !!
30.44 for 50 fly !!
39something for 50 breast.

first time under 40 for breast! XD and one oh SEVEN for 100 fly! i never thought it could be possible. woot. but that means that jaan will make me train more fly again! OH NO.

still have a lot of work to do actually, so i'd better scoot. byeee

those three wise men
they've got a semi by the sea.

2006-01-15T02:33:00.000-08:00
i still feel like i'm kayaking over the waves. ><

obs was great fun! it really gave 310 (or at least 15 of us from 310) an opportunity to bond. at first we were really disappointed when we got residential, cos most of us wanted to be in mobile, and the bunks were so clean, and we got to eat in the canteen and all that. so we were wondering what kind of obs experience this was gonna be. but after that we were more than grateful for the dorms cos we got showers and clean toilets while the ri guys probably had to take tons of powder baths and trek for super long hours. (:

the first day was quite slow. we basically got shown around the obs compound and met our instructor, elgene. got allocated to the watch (each group is called a watch) called Dhanabalan. unpacked a bit, had dinner, got things an order in the dorm, then went to bed at abt 1130pm.

had to get up at 555am the next morning to do morning physical trng. was not bad, i figured at least i was getting some land ex in since i wasn't going to be trng for the next few days. the most part of the day was spent doing stuff related to kayaking like checking our lifevests (the float test was damn fun!) and doing the capsize drills etc.capsizing on purpose was quite fun (though i knocked my elbow on the coaming once ><. hurt like hell k.) but having to seesaw the kayaks to empty them was pretty tiring.

started our land ex(pedition) on the second day as well. had to read the map to very precise points, and since 310 is a LIT class and not a geog one, i think its needless to say that we didn't do very well and overshot the place quite alot of times. sigh the checkpoints were so ulu and we had to go up among the tree and stuff to find the quotes. the spiders were huge ok. i almost died. ><

got to the campsite and the mosquitoes were freaking vicious and i got tons of mosquito bites. pokks. learnt how to construct the bashas, which were horribly exposed and let in the rain and mozzies and goodness knows what other stuff. (bashas have no walls, unlike tents, though i'm not sure which is easier to set up.) we woke up in the middle of the night soaking wet cos the rain had flowed onto our groundsheets and soaked into our clothes. still managed to sleep quite well on all the rocks somehow. field cooking was pretty fun also. we did mass peeing! LOL. we were all like, one-two-three, then all of us squatted. and well, you get the picture ><

supper was maaaad. simjoo is so innocent! omg. hilarious, i tell you. HORNY ANGELS! wheehee. found a crazy partner! yanhan and me are crazy 1/one and crazy 2/too respectively. get the puns? lit class whaat. we're angelic man! x)

sea ex the nextday. rations weren't too bad. oreos, kong guan biscuits, ovaltine powder, muesli bar etc, all stuffed into our lifevest pockets ok. damn funny. kayaked for dunnohowmany hours, but really enjoyed ourselves tone. rained halfway through the expedition so we had to beach up on some uluated island and have lunch there. we were all shivering man. i could feel my teeth chattering. got soaked to the skin. sang schools songs and cheered. the puppies at the pavilion were so cute!

sorry getting a bit incoherent already, there's so much to talk about. x)

arrived back in pasir ris park at about 5pm. not to go home la dots. to camp there. the food was pretty good. baked beans! (make crazy one fart right lol so sick) it was so near to home. everyone wanted to just take mrt home or smth like that. so near yet so far huh.><

played truth or dare with miffy, kristin, yanhan, vinna, yvonne. more like truth or truth really. you can guess what sorta questions we asked right. whahaha.by abt 1 something only me miffy and yanhan were left. confessions. the scandals man! don't ask me anything. shhh! (:

kayaked back again in the morning. felt really good to be going gome. or so i thought anw. cleaned the kayaks and the dorm and the toilets and all the equipment and stuff. haha it was so totally rushed. the washing of equipment was super fun. we were splashingwater back and forth and everyone got even wetter than we already were. if that was possible anyway.

went souvenir shopping and got one turquoise tank and a black obs shirt. nicenice. went to the hall for the last debrief. i'm ahsamed to say i fell asleep. sorryyy la. i was tired ok! >< after the school cheer and dedication many ppl in our watch were crying already, and i was like, cry for what. but after el's debrief i think i just started going abit off, and then the tears just came. gave sihui her cert and yanhan gave me mine. newfound crazy toot yay! after that we stood in a circle and closed our eyes and el told us a story though i can't remember what i really was and all, but after that we shared our experiences and stuff. was really touching. our watch was the only watch crying for gods sake. fantastic man.

hugged ppl and el and finally got on the boat to leave. can't believe its over and its back to school already. sighh. won't forget this experience for a long time.

i miss el and i miss dhana and i miss obs pokks.

dhanabalan/ mifiona katrina yvonne vinna kristin sihui audrey fangzhou sunchao jiachi simjoo litying joey rachel yanhan.

thats all of us. (:

how i wish i could
choose between
darkness and cold.

2006-01-02T01:09:00.000-08:00
happy one-day-late new year everyone! x)

its been an ok year, with lots of ups and downs. can't really say whether i had more ups or downs.. i guess i had about the same number of both. though last year wasn't a fantastic year or anything, i'd like to thank all those who stood by me when i was down, and laughed with me when i was happy. thank you to all those who guided me and helped me through all my trials, and for never ever disbelieving in me.

i want to say sorry to all those whom i may have hurt this past year, or whom i may just have freaked out when i was being mad or high, which was quite alot of the time.

as you can see, and i hope i still have, i think i have retained some, if not all of my lame sense of humor, and will continue cracking people up or making them roll their eyes out of their sockets every single time i open my mouth.

sevenners'05! thanks for making my first 2 years in school great ones, though we did have lots of misunderstandings and a fair bit of discord these 2 years, i'd still like to say that its been great being in seven! love all of you guys and i'll really miss you guys when we go to different classes. ((:

another year has come and gone. the new year is here again. another year of resolutions, to make and break, another year of fun and laughter, triumph and sadness. most of all, another year in which to better myself and grow as a person. to all those who know me, and even those who don't, HAVE A GREAT 2006 AHEAD OF YOU! x)

love you guys tons ! <333

2005-12-25T06:40:00.000-08:00
got nothing to do so i decided to come here and blog lol.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

i will love everyone for one day, and that is today! (though there's not much of it left, but ohwell)

i am somehow hooked on chinese songs. that's quite amazing for me right? yeah, i know. that's why i myself am amazed at me. did that make sense? yea, i think it did. good. (: chinese songs are.. good! some of them. i'm now wondering why i had a prejudice against them in the past. lol ridiculous la pokks.

am i raving, yes i think i'm raving sorry i don't know why but this is what comes with being cooped up in the house the whole day and watching silly chinese clips and doing other stuff. yea, blah blah blah.

i want the wangzibianqingwa dvd so much! i have to watch it ahh. i can only get it..er.. next year! that's hell long to wait! pokks.

yea. notice my entries get more and more boring everytime i blog? maybe i should just delete my blog huh. but. nah, i won't. this is confusing is it not? i am sorry for the lack of coherency (is there such a word?) but i'm not exactly in a very proper state of mind right now so you should leave while you still can or you may find a hand reaching out of my blog to grab you or smth, now wouldn't that be fun. (:

yay i am mad.

只怪我的爱不够勇敢
一直沉默的作你的依赖

2005-12-20T05:12:00.000-08:00
blogging seems to have lost its appeal for me. really have nothing to blog about nowadays, and i really can't be bothered to come online to blog. sigh. anyway, here's a quick update.

got stung by a bee last friday. it was on top of the wall when i was trying to climb out of the pool, and obviously most ppl just put their hands on the wall without looking right. so that's exactly what i did, and i suddenly felt this firey pain in my left hand. sighh. i started hollering. hahaha, and jaan was like, "scrape it out!! don't pull it out!" i made him do it instead. hahaha.

its still swollen. well, sort of. its become a boil with pus in it. and i hit it on the lanerope at least once every training. i think its gonna burst or smth. eeeew. sorry for the gruesome details! x)

been training ok this past week or so. but i think i'm gonna die soon. bleah. i feel like jelly all over.

what else has been happening. nothing much. been having some problems. but.. nevermind. i don't want to talk about those. i'm trying to enjoy the last of my hols. 2 months has passed so fast, it feels like its just begun. sigh. i'm gonna miss the hols..

bleahhhhhhh where have the hols gone??

i shall not mourn the hols anymore! i will enjoy the rest of it! sorry do i sound mad? feeeling quite high.

serene hiewy pokk, i shall see you tmr! i love you lots!

rudolph won't you come to town?
but he was frozen to the ground. x)

2005-12-08T05:48:00.000-08:00
haven't blogged for a long time. everyone's been chasing me to blog. haha. don't really feel like blogging nowadays...

sigh.everyone's training better than me, and i think when the rest get back from kunming, they're gonna be like, zooooooom and i'm gonna be drowning in their waves, and then everyone will qualify for sea age, and i'm gonna be stuck in singapore, training for nothing.

pleasant thoughts!

ahhhhhh. going out on tues! whahaha.

2005-11-29T05:46:00.000-08:00
hmmm. yea. i've been asked to blog. right PECK. x)

whats been happening. not much, really. life's boring and routine. ermm. got back into trng just a week ago. feel like jelly in the water man. its as if i've completely lost my feel for the water. and i can't even do a decent fly or back sprint now! ):

i see the propro ppl at the sea games, and i tell myself that i want to be there too, winning medals, or just having that experience, then i look at the state of my swimming, and i realise that that dream will never come true. i'm like, waaaaaaaay to slow to qualify for that la. >< the furthest i'll get will only ever be age group meets. pokks.

sigh. there's nothing to talk about! ssc ppl in kunming! i miss you guys lots and lots and lots, and wen, i used your shampoo. haha. woots heard you guys are trng really hard over there and i bet you guys are having tons and tons of fun right! nvm. singapore is quite fun too! haha am i writing a letter.

but really! i've gone shopping (yesterday) and bought cool stuff that i need. haha wheee. and i'm gonna buy my microphoto really soon so, yay again. ahahaha.

mayumi don't be so sad! i know you'll never see this, but you can talk to me whenever ok! i hope you got that break! x) happy happy!

sorry, this post is complete crap.

black and blue

2005-11-11T02:20:00.000-08:00
hey coaches, swimming managers etc., you reading this, as you always are?

yup anyway, if you are, you can tag! i already know if you've come or not. its traceable you know.

lets get to the point.

ILOVE TRAINING SO MUCH! I ALWAYS HAVE SO MUCH FUN AT IT! CAN YOU TELL? I'M SO ENTHU ABOUT IT! YAY! WHEE I WISH I COULD SWIM THE WHOLE DAY WITHOUT HAVING TO GET OUT!

BESIDES THAT, I LOVE ALL THE COACHES AND ALL THE REST OF THE SWIMMING STAFF! ESPECIALLY 2 OF THEM! YAY! YOU GUYS rock!

WHEE I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT TRAINING SESSION!

(haha i did it too, mich!)

2005-11-03T21:36:00.000-08:00
we've got a new coach to take gui's place. fang xin. from csc apparently. i wonder if the younger kids are gonna get her or if we're gonna get her. i don't really care either way.

pokks. what else is there to talk about nowadays.

last day of school tmr. yay! x)

kunming trip confirmed! woots. bring lots and lots of food!!XD

every moment spent with you
is a moment i treasure.
for ever and ever.

2005-10-31T21:16:00.000-08:00
i have movedhere.

sort of moved anyway. its pw protected so ask me for the pw if you guys wanna read it.

i'll still blog here. so effectively i have 2 blogs la. yup.

2005-10-22T22:36:00.000-07:00
didn't go for trials today. x) nevermind. went out with ser instead.

went to the frenchfest at ngee ann city! the stuff there is sooo cool! all designer stuff! i want them all next time when i have my own house! went to watch flightplan after that.

flightplan rocks!!!!

so do gelare waffles.
i haven't got much to talk about.

bye.

life's like an hourglass
glued to the table.

2005-10-21T22:34:00.000-07:00
omgomgomg. eoeoy's!!! they're finally OVER! i am on a high. (:

BL is suchhhh a moron! like, totally. (in a bim voice (x) ya, cos we were doing broken 200. so he gave us the times for the first 3 50's and just stood there staring at his stopwatch for the last one. so then everyone was asking him for times and he said "i didn't get them" like, oh, you didn't realise we were at the wall already? seriously, thanks for taking our times! (: thanks lots and lots and lots. and he was walking aroun in the coach's room topless. does he actually think anyone would want to look? i'd rather cut all my hair off. he reminds me of the fat guy from kung-fu-hustle. xD

and jaan, i know you read my blog, but seriously, i don't care. this is my space. i can say whatever i want.

ben's party next sunday! i want to stay over! but there's silly school. ):

bleah. flight plan!

so i'm counting my tears
till i get over you.

2005-10-16T22:16:00.000-07:00
i'd like to know why.

why you seem to talk to everyone but me. why everyone seems so be so chummy with you, yet they don't know you that well either. i want to know why. i guess we just don't have that "fate" huh.

eoy's start tmr. =x

qld trials. i'm gg for fun. but who knows if they'll even let me enter the trials.

the world is soooo cruel. x)

somedays i make it through
and then there's nights that never end.

2005-10-09T21:57:00.001-07:00
tom holt's "the portable door" totally rocks. really. its so whimsical and out of this world. something like harry potter, yet ten times better than potter could ever be. its far less childish and alot more intruiging. i recommend!

you know wht. i realised that everything seems to remind me of you nowadays. everything i do, a song i hear, a name i see, a phone even. argh. i should just give up, but i can't. i really can't! i mean, i know i really should try and forget seeing that its so obvious that you really like duh don't like me at all. i mean. its so obvious, and i know. thats the worst part. i know yet i can't seem to do anything about it. =(

training these 2 days has been bad. BL has been so annoying. trying to be witty and all that sorta usual stuff again. omg i got sooo annoyed ok. he probably doesn't even realise that he's an annoying little toot. maybe he thinks deep down we enjoy it! and that some of the girls even like him? 0.O omg. thats a horrid thought.

arghh. the blunt ache in me is totally unbearable. james blunt! randomness.

ain't it crazy ain't it strange,
how our lives are rearranged,
and things will never be the same again,
no.

2005-10-08T22:23:00.000-07:00
ok so i didn't really go on my hiatus. cos i wanna train for queensland trials i guess. but the times are really really fast! 3rd place is the qt and its like 29 for 50 back! god. i think i'll just go there and swim for fun la.

hmm anyway. i had alot to say when i came online and now i've forgotten everything.

nvm.

lol BLBLBL. such a total BL! hahaha nvm i'm abit high, high on tuna! wem.

like counting a million stars
for that many reasons you are.

2005-09-28T10:57:00.000-07:00
has it ever occurred to you that i just don't care?

i think i should quit swimming, seriously.

2005-09-25T21:16:00.000-07:00
i suck. i toally suck.

these days all i feel is either depressed or pissed. don't ask me why.

i'm sorry, to all you ppl reading my blog. i know i shouldn't torture you with my problems, but thats what a blog is for right? and anyway, i've said it before and i'll say it again. if my entries bother you then just don't come here. you can leave right now. there's a red carpet rolled out already.

nowadays it seems that every happy thing i've experienced will be or has been overshadowed by something equally or more unpleasant or unbearable. i don't know why. i just can't seem to do anything right anymore.

sigh.

training training training school school school exams exams exams tuition tuition tuition. the list goes on. its the same old thing day in, day out, and i wouldn't mind doing them so much if i could at least achieve something, but the worst part is that i'm getting absolutely no where in any of these things. i know, if you fail, try, try and try again, but i've tried so many times, tried so hard, but still i achieve nothing, or minimal results. so really, what IS the point of trying so hard any longer?

right now, i hate myself, i hate training, i hate school, i hate the world. so if, at any time recently i have offended you by snapping at you or anything like that, well, sorry ok.

yes yes i know. everyone's busy too, so what right do i have to moan on and on and on about my bloody problems? well, i've told you, this is my blog, my right to say things that i want, so if you can't stomach it, please leave.

its raining. just the right kinda weather to reflect my mood i guess.

hmmmmmmmmmmm.

i could go on and on. but i wouldn't want to bore you. (:

goodbbye. i hate me (:

why do you build me up buttercup baby
just to let me down.

2005-09-24T17:55:00.000-07:00
not gonna have time to blog later cos we have a family function on, so i decided to blog now.

trng today was okay i guess. the drills and the 300s were quite slack. and we had about 20 mins left at the end cos someone didn't plan the program properly. (we shall call this person he-who-shall-not-be-named from here on.) yes. so the person in question told us that we were going to do relay with the advance people instead to pass the time.

that was fine, cos we thought it would be quite fun. (and it was, i'm not saying it wasn't) anyway, we did relays until 0930, whereupon this he-who-shall-not-be-named decided that we should have one more relay before we left. quite a few ppl told this person that it was 0930 already. but did he listen? NOOOOOOOOOO. he insisted on having that relay, completely ignoring our protests. to add to that, he took so bloody effing long to organise the relay. and it was like 9.35? so me and another person got fedup and just took our stuff and walked off.

he-who-shall-not-be-named was like, "oy!" but we didn't care did we? we just walked into the toilets.

serves him right, i say.

i don't care if he reports me to jaan or anything. he deserved what he got. just cos most ppl don't dare/bother to tell him that they hate him, doesn't mean that i'll do the same. i'll openly broadcast it if i have to.

what's jaan gonna do? scold me? suspend me? expel me? even if he does, i don't care. let him. i won't mind quitting. i suck anyway. i can't move at all. i'm slower than everyone during training. so honestly, i wouldn't mind.

but hey, if i get suspended, that'll be one less person going to sea age from the club next year. (i'm not being egotistical here, its hypothetically speaking.)

yup.

i'd also like to tell everyone reading my blog that this person sucks and thinks he's so bloody funny and laughs at totally the wrong time and tells the lamest jokes and thinks he's the greatest freak in the world just cos he got featured in that papers or sth. yes. and i hope he knows i hate him and doesn't ever try to impress the squad by being "smart" ever again. i once told him, "you're like, REALLY funny you know." wonder if he actually got the point or took it at face value. mygod. maybe thats why he still insists on telling us all this freaking bloody moronic stuff and persisting in his asnine ways.

god.

whew. that felt good. i had to get that out. the walking out this morning felt hell good as well. he deserves it.

so much for that. =)

i think i need some time by myself
without anybody else
i just need to unwind
in my time machine

2005-09-19T13:49:00.000-07:00
this shall be a short post.=)

i have no idea why the posts are in such thick font. :

PSL PSL PSL! its finally confirmed! (i think) yay i'm so happy.

benkheng got an ipod nano. his zen got destroyed by me, he says. hurricane katrina ><

this is a stupid post.

~~imiss my nice thing. =(~~ nono i'm not thinking about you. i won't i won't i won't. since you're totally unattainable, then i don't see why i'm so stuck on you. as this book that i'm reading says, if he knows you like him and he doesn't talk to you, then he's not worth wasting your time on. yup. so thats that.

cos i miss you
and i don't wanna miss a thing.

2005-09-16T22:33:00.000-07:00
eengleesh orals today. thought the examiner would be ahlau but it tirned out to be jtoh. wonder of wonders. he's quite nice i think. but i don't think so bad la. i didn't bother to study at all. i didn't really care whether i passed or failed. come to think of it, i still don't.

i can't believe i trained this morning. i was already dying from last night's trng, but cos jaan wasn't there this evening, so i decided that i didn't wanna *AHEM* ssc ppl should know. i don't think many ppl went. hahaha. well anyway, this morning's set was quite ok. 2(5x100) cruise. 1 set form 1 set no 2. on 1.35 and 1.25 respectively. only made 9 though. i sorta died for the back. bleah.

I AM BLOODY SLOW.

argh. i look at the ppl at aag and sea age, and then i look at myself, i realise that i have no chance of competing at all, cos i'm so horribly pathetic i can't even go fast. i mean, i'm so freaking slow for god's sake. i get so pissed off when i think about how slow i am and i wish i were faster, and as pro as those ppl. its really frustrating. ><

~~imissyou~~ no i don't. i promised myself i wouldn't think about you anymore. but its not working.>< maybe i should just not talk about you at all. =)

i love the ipod nano! i'm gonna buy it when i've saved up enough. next year after chi new year. XD ilove it! the white one! yay.

if i could fall into the sky
do you think time
would pass me by

2005-09-14T11:00:00.000-07:00
~~i am fart~~ hiew calls me that. don't ask me why. : i think its short for arstyfart and don't ask me where she got that name from either. ><

the school's fried chicken is nice. sometimes.

lol so random.

i'm not over you yet. i try and try but i can't seem to get you out of my head. whyyyy.

i dunno what to talk abt. hmmmm. ohyeah. yesterday i did the fly set. 2(7x100) fly on 1.40. with fins, but seeing my fly is so horrid, i was dying. breaking storke like anything. and doing 3 kicks instead of 2. >< i can't believe i survived that. i don't think i even trained that hard in p6 when i did 1.09 for 100 fly. back then all i trained were 50's. can you imagine if i had trained that hard in p6? i might have done 1.07 or sth right. haha.

YEAH. KAT IS DOING FLY! :) -hiewy.

i cant qualify for australian age anymore la. i won't make the times.

GO FART GO. YOU CAN DO IT! WE CAN DO IT! (maybe i can't. haha) -says hiewy (serene).

she commands me to leave it there. bah.

anyway, as i was saying before i was so rudely interrupted, i can't qualify. the 100 back time is 1.07 and if i make that i would most surely qualify for the 2007 sea games. hah. fat hope. and 200 back. thats needless to say. i surely won't qualify for that. BAH. katkatkat, why are you SO LOUSY? ><

mope. ipod mini is on sale! so says kwok. only at j8. $308 now! save $40 bucks. but i haven't saved enough yet. sadsadsad. kwok is going to buy! bweah. iwant.

i'm just out to find
the better part of me.

2005-09-10T22:23:00.000-07:00

hmm ok i just felt like putting this up. haha.

went back to train for the first time in a week today. couldn't feel the water at all. : | completely lost my feel for the water. and for the heart rate set i was going 1.35+. god i think it was the worst trng session of my life. i almost died. the feelingwhen you want to go fast but just can't is horrid. i felt like a block a wood just floating there. the feeling was indescribably torturous.

nothing much to say. i shall rave. shall i?

thanks for being nice to me for a short while. i must say i liked you. the feeling wasn't mutual, i know. but still. anyway, now i guess its time for me to let go of you and go on.i know all this is silly cos i haven't really known you for very long, but somehow i feel that i've known you for the longest time. i dunno why. well, yeah, so i suppose i'll try to stop thinking about you and find someone else instead. thanks for acting like you cared for a while. =)

and it seems to me that you've lived your life
like a candle in the wind

2005-09-08T22:50:00.000-07:00
well now, lets get started

being sick is one of the worse things that could happen to a child on holiday. i just recovered from this horrid bout of illness. i think i was sick for 4 days. temp was like, 37-38, then on the third day it went up to 39. she was like ! and made me go to the doc the next day. -.- doc gave me antibiotics as expected. dumb throat infection. my throat still hurts like crazy. ><

for when we get to the end

trying to do the chem worksheets now. sigh. they're actually quite fun in a way. :p see the zee isn't having a party today. why, zee? "i suppose its just as well," said she, "for it gives me a chance to complete the work that i left untouched, all those days that the wretched illness consumed me."

we shall know more than we did then

but do we, really?

well, i know, for one thing, that you don't like me. and now i'm sure of that, so thankyouverymuch.

i'll be a fool for you no longer
perhaps its better this way.

2005-09-04T17:15:00.000-07:00
i'm really too lazy to blog about the whole open champs. i'll just say that i did 3 pb's. 200 free, 2.19, 200im, 2.38, 50 fly, 30.90. i know my 200's are slow. but they're still pb's. i slacked 400 and 800 free. i didn't really care. was feeling sick anyway.

lol the funniets part of the meet was when mansheng was trying to get out of swimming 400 free. he was pretending to have pulled his leg muscle and was groaning away to jaan. lol it was super funny. i have the video of it somewhere on my comp. ^^

hmm. overall open champs wasn't bad. vp won! with so few elite squad ppl to boot. yay vice-president rocks!

the water's rising
and i'm slipping under.

2005-08-31T22:12:00.000-07:00
teachers' day celebrations cum aces day wasn't bad. except for the fact that dumb ahbok had to set the test right after the celebrations. : | the test wasn't so bad though. yep.

aces day thing was funny. ame was looking usually bim/slut on the top of the table. leading all the teachers no less! was quite fun. vorn should have stood with us eh? her darling kenaf was standing not far away from where we were standing. :p

hahaha after the celebrations one lot of us went out to have lunch. erm. me sorn suvee ink sining ck tiddy carmen nette i think. we saw the teachers playing soccer! wahaha it was hilarious. concon was wearing the rgs netball bib topless. eeyer. thank goodness we don't play netball for pe anymore. XD and he was running around really fast. lol. mizar looked weird. he's not bad though. he's skinny. : | haha but he's funny la. the teachers looked so funny playing soccer on the netball courts. XDD we were all screaming with laughter.

sl wasn't bad. quite fun. haha me and suvee went on a adventure to 7-eleven and bought food to eat. whee.

yay the donutters are going out tmr. =) whee should be fun.

open champs tmr! sigh i don't feel like gg. somehow going to the club reminds me of rachyeung and i don't like that at all. =( i really miss you alot rachie! sigh. trying for the record for 50 back. sigh. wem la. not like i want it anyway. she wants me to do it. bet if i don't i'll get scolding again. >:(

sigh anything la. i like my new blogskin. better go practice piano now. byebye.

i don't wanna close my eyes
i don't wanna fall asleep
cos i miss you baby
and i don't wanna miss a thing

2005-08-29T18:29:00.000-07:00
---------rachel yeung------------

hey girl, guess its time to say bye huh. after all this time, i never thought the time would actually come. but it has. its come and gone and still i can't believe that you're actually gone. i'm really gonna miss you when you're over in grimsby. we've been saying goodbye for weeks now huh? last night was just the final one.

saw you start crying when you walked into the customs place. i felt like crying too.

hope you have fun over there no matter what ok. good luck over there. =) i bet the people aren't as bad as you make them out to be right.. :p just wanna say that all of us over here are really really gonna miss you.

keep being the crazy2 that we all know and love so much and we'll see you when you come back soon. one year isn't that long. =) don't be sad ok! SSC LOVES YOU! keep in touch!

LOVE YOU RACHIE! <33 =)

2005-08-25T21:57:00.000-07:00

group pic!

second day back from bangkok. i'm starting to miss the place already. i wanna go back there and compete all over again. :(((

day one:
got there at around 230. by the time we got to the hotel and both busloads of people arrived, it was almost 5 and since we take 45 mins to get to the pool, we couldn't train. which was quite nice. whahaha. dinner was notbad. lights out at 10.30 bk time, 11.30 sg time.

day two:
got up at abt 8. went down for breakfast. we discovered that the meals at the hotel were rather fantastic. went to thammasat university to train. the water was super cold. even colder than the ss one, but after swimming in it for a while you sort of get used to it. trained for close to an hour and a half, before heading to mbk to go buy (junk) food to tide us over the long week ahead. went back to the hotel and slacked around the rest of the day. XD

day three:
first day of the competition. and i had events! =( 50 back. seeded third, came in second for heats. 31.88. thrilling. first day was the most screwed up day la. the heats finished so late that by the time we got back to the hotel we only had time to eat, go up to our rooms for 15 mins, then we had to go back down and leave for the pool. =x i was really scared at the reporting area cos i felt kinda stiff and tired, though i was gonna do 32+ again, but i figured, wth, just go there and chiong. so i did. and i beat the hk girl. whahaha. second pb. 31.65. and a gold medal! woot. not expected at all.

day four and five:
no events on these days so i brought work to the pool to do. darn those eoys.

day six:
100 back! seeded 9th so i knew i had no hope of getting into the finals. did 1.10.91 anyway. crap time. almost one second slower than my pb. bleah. the bright side was that i didn't have to go through the torture of swimming 100 back again i suppose. after the comp the guys started dunking everyone into the pool. i escaped. XD

lol went back to hotel and ate dinner at abt 11.30 sg time. lol. then was stayed up until like 5bk time. andre bought this hideous mask, so the guys were taking turns to wear it and walk around scaring ppl. it was HILARIOUS. they scared zhou jiao lian so much that she ran into the bathroom and locked the door! :p after that me, christel, roanne and sheree walked around trying to find ppl to play with but we realised that we were unwanted, so we went to camp in joel (tan weijie)'s room and watch mindhunters until abt 5am bk time.

didn't wanna disturb AHEM in my room so we slept in joel's room. joshua slept on ben's towel on the floor cos we hijacked their beds. and joel slept at the foot of me and christel's bed. he moved so much, and he snored. lol. twas quite funny. slept for abt 2 hours. haha.

went shopping at mbk after that. didn't buy many things, but i did get a roxy blouse for 4 bucks and a shirt for jon. earrings as well. $1+ only! woots. and bought dunkin' donuts back. whee.

yep. so thats aag in a nutshell. it was super fun. more fun than sea age. =)) yay. but i'm gonna miss the place. hope i get to go again. i doubt it though. too many propro ppl next year. sigh. nvm.

i mean you
more than anyone darlin'

2005-08-20T11:20:00.000-07:00
hihi! we're in bangkok now! whee. mw and khoonnie are in some funny place in the hotel that has internet so we're trying to blog. hahaha. the charges are damn cheap man... 1 baht/min and the minu\imum is 15 mins which is like, 15 baht. thats like less than a dollar. woot.

ok. erm. yesterday was that first day of my comp. 50 back. heats and finals right. i did pb for both. X) 31.88 for heats and 31.65 for finals. wheeee. i missed the record by like 0.25secs. !!!!!!!!! bloody crap la. beats the hk girl. whahaha.

those who have no events today are allowed to stay in the hotel, so thats why me and khoonnie are here. haha. we're sorta exploring the hotel for stuff to do. we found out that it has a running track. not bad for a 4 star hotel eh.

omg the keyboard is so screwed. x) cos it has all these thai letters on it so i can't really see the letters. and i keep pressing the wrong keys. =x

hallo everyone back in singapore! i miss you guys alot! i hope i don't die for my 100 back on mon. hope i can do a pb. XD

there's a 7-eleven just across the road from the hotel and we are NOT ALLOWED to go. the road is only 2 cars wide for goodness sakes.

the hotel food rocks! we have ice cream every lunch and dinner. =)) the main courses change everyday. haha unlke the sea age hotel where the main courses were the same everyday but the dessert were fantastic. over here, the main courses change everyday and the dessert is basically the same. though the flavour changes.

ok i think i better go now. whee i'll try to come back here and blog again tmr or sth if we get to stay in again. byebye!

out of the doubt that fills my mind
i finally find
you and i
collide

2005-08-16T23:00:00.000-07:00
this entry is gonna be shortshort! i don't have time. supposed to be packing now. =p

we're leaving tmr! yay one whole week! but i have alot of hw. dumb eoy's. still, it should be fun.

sighh.

i'm sleepy.

but i haven't finished packing.

i'm gonna scoot now.

go finish packing.

byebye!

when i close my eyes
its you i see

2005-08-14T19:55:00.000-07:00
i'm feeling sorta sad right now. =( i dunno why.

the blue sky's faded to grey

maybe its because of you? i saw you again yesterday. twas nice, but you don't seem to realised that i exist. so why the hell am i so stuck on you? this sucks.

the tong hua mv just makes me want to cry. :( -sobs

nevermind about the previous para's.

on to happier things.

leaving for asian age on wed. its gonna be fun! my events are on the first and last days though. sad. if they were on the first and second days or sth then i could relax abit and have more fun. sighhh. nevermind. we're gonna play truth or dare over there. yay. you better not ask me those questions korkor. you know i won't tell you the answers. =)

should i go to school on wed morning? for one block. =x i just feel like going. i dunno. but jaan wants us to go and train. howhow. i wanna do both.

speaking of training. i did five good sessions in a row! am proud of self.

here i go
scream my lungs out and try to get to you
you are my only one.

ILOVEYOU. <3

2005-08-07T21:17:00.000-07:00

tottochan! whahaha. he was like "ay why take picture of me hah?" XD

me and ser. besties forever! yays. love! <33

there's something about you now.

2005-08-04T21:21:00.000-07:00
ptptptptptpt. subjectcombisubjectcombisybjectcombi. hwhwhwhwhw.

so many things to do, and so little time. i knwo i shouldn't be here blogging, but i felt that i just had to come here and blog. i know i should be finishing my chinese pt and then going to bed cos i have to train tmr morning, but still i tell myself, later. this is precisely what prevents me from achieving what i want. procrastination. i know i'm guilty of it, yet i can't seem to change. i dunno what's wrong with me.

i think i'm training too hard for aag. i've trained so hard that nowadays when i try to sprint, i go at warmup speed. i can't go any faster than that. i can't seem to do anything right now. whats happening to me? i get grouchy cos of this and thats why i've been snapping at people these few days. stuff just gets to me and i get pissed for no reaseon. so if i happened to shout at anyone, which i did, then i'm sorry ok. just tell me to piss off or sth cos thats what i want to do. just piss off and shut the world out.

i want to forget you. i really do. but i don't know how to. even though i know that i definitely can't have you, i feel as though i must keep on trying. i want to forget you so much, yet at the same time i keep telling myself that i musn't give up just like that. >< but i miss you so much. =(

whats happening to me. i can't do anything right. i keep getting everything wrog and screwint everything up. i was looking forward to aag some days ago, but now i look at the way i'm training and i think that maybe i'm better off not going for it anyway. i mean, i'm probably only gonna screw up my events right. ><

i can't think of how to miao xie the stupid mrt station. BLOODY EFFING SHATE.

why the hell do we have to do so many pts. not like our pt's are of any practical use anyway. HAIYA.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sdkhfsufsdfrfg

sorry i'm frustrated.

and i don't know what to do
cos i'll NEVER be with you.

2005-08-01T02:57:00.000-07:00
happy first everyone! XD

chinese pt presentation today. notbadnotbad. except that we went overtime by like, 12 mins. =x on the whole it wasn't so bad though. the presentation was quite smooth and the powerpoint was really good. yea so i don't think we'll do too badly.

i'm still wondering if i ordered too small a size for the aag tracksuit. cos the sleeves of the M top were abit short. but. oh well. everyone else is taking M so i guess i should be ok right.

Q: a guy dropped a vegetable on the floor and it bounced. why?

A: it was a spring onion. lol.

Q: a guy was in a field and couldn't get out. why?

A: he was in maize. loll.

hahah thought up by my bro. quite witty uh. and lame as always. whahaa. i like.

ok erm. first choice: tripscience lit
second choice: tripscience geog?
third choice: tripscience hist?
fourth choice: doublescience lit
fifth choice: doublescience geog?
sixth choice: doublescience hist?

should i put geog or history first? bwah.

sigh i'm stressed. i'm damn scared that i'll have a ton of hw when i come back, i'm trying to do the chinese pt, i'm trying to train for aag, i'm scared i won't do pb for aag, i wanna swim relay for aag. etc. and i wonder if i bring junkfood, will jaan confiscate it, like he did at asean cup? i hope he doesn't cos i'm planning on bringing alot of it. XP

currently reading an inspector calls. have to finish it by tmr cos there's lit. bwah. its ok. abit dry, but not too bad.

take me to the place you cry from,
where the storm blows you away.

2005-07-29T22:36:00.000-07:00
my goodness. friendster is sooo dead. i've been trying to send a message for so long and the reply page just will not load. god. and i know its not the broadband screwing up again cos the other sites i go to are fine. bwah.

ah. its finally done. yay i sent my message, =)))

training wasn't bad today. i can't be bothered to type the set. but it was ok. though i was tired and my legs weren't kicking so i was doing super slow times. =((

did pb for 25 and 15m back though. XD finally.

asian age meeting tmr. get to skip like one hour of training. so cool right. meeting's from 9.15 to 10.15 so we're leaving trng at 8.30. woot.

lol its so early but i think i should go now.

byebye.

you know we'll make it rightt.

2005-07-25T18:28:00.000-07:00
today wasn't a bad day. no. not at all. for one, spoon's lesson was quite slack as usual, and i just.. well, i can't even remember what i did. oops. =p after that was aesthetics. we started home econs today. guess what we made. egg and cheese sandwiches, papaya boats, and hot milo. i was like. !!!!!!!!!!

the egg and cheese sandwiches were fine actually, if a bit salty, but the papaya boats! all they turned out to be were some stupid pieces of papaya that we had to cut nicely and present on a plate. -_-" i thought they would be something nice like the papaya with almond(?) sauce inside that we had in shenzhen. lol.

andand. teaching us to make MILO of all things. mygod. you'd think we were p1 kids. HOT MILO! the teacher proclaimed. and everyone rolled their eyes.

honestly though, the food was quite good overall when we sat down to eat. i mean, duh. since we were the ones who made it. ahah. but seriously, it was quite nice.

ohoh this is the best part of the day. during maths, tottochan came over, and he was looking at os, cos she had packed already and was looking exceedingly bored. "why you look so bored?" he asked. "i wanna go home!" whined os. whereupon, tottochan replied, "i also want to go home!" and HE GIGGLED. my god. i heard this funny little giggle and i was wondering if it was sal, but it turned out to be tottochan cos sal was doing her work and os does not laugh like that.

my goodness.

many of our classmates seem to like our teachers far too much. -points at boo, ayam and vorn

i can't seem to think of what to blog about nowadays.

iloveyou.

got nowhere to run
the night goes on
and i'm fading away.

2005-07-20T20:29:00.000-07:00
chee was being an irritating pok today. well, its not really today right. its more like, everytime we have pe with him. but anyway. he was nagging as usual, and he'd stop at the slighest whisper and threaten to make us walk 10 rounds around the track. note that he said walk. so none of us really bothered. after that he got really pissed though, so we decided to be abit nicer and keep quiet. or at least whisper a little softer. XD

i wouldn't have minded walking those ten rounds though. at least then we'd be free of his persistent nagging. : | he kept telling us all the stuuf that he'd told us about 10 times before. and he was wondering why we weren't listening?

"its for your own good girls! you're having your assessment today! if you don't listen and you fail don't blame me!" if that's what's good, i shudder to think what "bad" would be. eeyer.

anyway i got 4 out of 5 for the bball assessment so i guess not listening helps huh. XD personally i thought i played a crap game. thought i'd get 2 or sth. ><

friendster is screwed! i can't delete or upload photos! oh man. i don't know why i bother but i am so there's no use complaining right. =p nevermind.

the harry potter book is quite nice. though its quite draggy as usual. i say jk's losing her touch. she says she misses the writing. yea suuuure. misses the money more like. erm. ok i hope she never sees this. i'll probably get sued for slander. =D

rushing geog pt now. haha. but its not that hard.

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

2005-07-18T21:21:00.000-07:00
jaan's given me and kang this funny piece of paper where we have to tick all the days that we can go training so that he can construct a program for us each. the problem is that there are 51 sessions before we leave for asian age, the goal is 40, but at the current number per week i'm doing now i'll only make ...27! my god. thats pathetic. so as a result of my dwindling attendance and in my eagerness to do well for that ONE LAP of backstroke, i have decided to go and train tmr morning even though i still have a ton of work that i haven't done.

i am so guai right. ahaha.

so, yea. btw, the goblet of fire trailer sucks. it tells you nothing about the movie. yep.

i'm going to watch some nicenice chinese kungfu movie now.

tata.

anyone who
can touch you
can love you
or leave you.

2005-07-11T18:41:00.000-07:00
bwah.

the maths pt individual component is driving me mad. how come everyone else knows how to do it but me? argh. i don't have an inkling of what we're supposed to do. i don't know how to begin, where to begin. howhowhowhow. its due tmr! i only have ONE question out of 5 done. argh.

ohno.

nats are tmr also. howhow. my legs are aching. howhow. i will try to do a 31 for 50 back. i must believe that i can. =)

i can't get that song out of my head no matter how much i try. its just the same with you. i can't. just can't. :S

I AM BLASTING MUSIC. its not helping me calm down much. arghhhh.

economics. bweah. what makes them so sure we're gonna make a career out of maths huh. and they give such a difficult group component, and then give an individual one also. want us to die ah. bleah. there's also geog pt. i am going to work until midnight tonigh. ><

i think i should go now. so i can finish earlier. yup.

you had a bad day
you're taking one down
you sing a sad song just to turn it around.

2005-07-10T19:13:00.000-07:00
there's a banana in the fridge. left there for almost a week. sad and neglected. almost as i feel now.

i read this dream analysis thing from readers' digest and it says that if you have dreams where you seem to be falling into this hole or something along those lines then you don't feel as if you have emotional support. and, this sounds dumb, but i do have dreams like that. and its a recurring one at that. i feel as if i'm falling into this hole back first, and i'm falling progressively faster until it reaches dizzying speeds, then i just wake up. its really scary. the feeling is so real. and after i read that article i got abit freaked out. ><

i really don't know what to think.

maybe thats why i'm so chronically depressed.

i'm worried about nats. i'm worried i won't be able to do a pb. i'm worried i'll screw up my plunge. i'm just worried that i won't do well. what if i can't go for asian age either? >< worryworryworry. i should try to do as ems said and worry everything out now so by the time the day actually rolls around i won't be worried anymore. .-.

i have maths pt individual component complete tuesday. i have NO IDEA how to do it. i'm so dead.

bwah.

i said maybe,
you're gonna be the one that saves me.
and afterall,
you're my wonderwall.

2005-07-08T21:50:00.000-07:00
ahah. last day of nats heats. did 32.56 for 50 back and 1.10.66 for 100 back. ><>< sigh i seem to be stagnating. the only nice thing is that i did pm for 50 free. 28.98. its more like 29 but it sounds better right. boos. =(

today wasn't so bad though. i didn't feel quite as tired as i expected after the 100 back. is that good or bad? maybe i could have gone faster and done 1.09? -.-

finals on tues and wed. i'm super scared. at least i can say i was sorta slaking for heats cos i knew i would get into finals, but for finals, i will definitely go fast right. so if i don't do pb i'll be damn sad. supersuperscareddd. :(((((

i know everyone's telling me not to worry about my event cos i will surely get first. butbut. the point is that i don't care about the bloody medal. even if i were last and i did 31 for 50 back and 1.09 for 100 back, i'd be happy. i don't give a shate about the medal! why is everyone so bent on the dumb medal. just having that medal does NOT mean you are the best in singapore. its just. a piece of metal. i mean, if you were the 1st and you didn't do pb, would you be happy? i know i certainly would not. after all, you know that you didn't do as well as you should have and could have so where's the pleasure in that?

shate i don't think i'm gonna do well ok. dumb timing. i'm stagnating. hope its not gonna be like my fly again. argh. i seem to be able to do the time just once, after which i never even smell it again. ><

quitquitquit. should i quit? i feel like sometimes. its just so frustrating. i just can't seem to attain the sort of speed that i want.

i hate wannabes. i hate people who try to be popular. likelike. HER.

i mean. argh. you try and be like everyone you think is "cool". conformity. not so good in this case. i mean. if you wanna be cool go and buy a fan or sth man. ok out of point. seriously though. if you want people to like you and respect you then you don't really go around trying to be like everybody. cos its not cool. its just irritating. can you imagine someone coming to you and copying everything you do including you handwriting and the things you do and say? boo.

i can't stand you man. i don't care if you come here and see this. cos you jolly well know that i dislike you. i've disliked you since ast year. i didn't mind you at the start of last year but once you started sticking to us and copying everything we did, then i started hating you. sticky dumbass. like sticking plaster. something that NEVER comes off.

if you bothered to look, closely, you'd realise that even the people you think like you DON'T. they actually despise you. they can't stand you. hah. now you know.

why am i wasting my breath on this. its just sorta fun. nevermind.

bwah.

i'm still hungry. ><

2005-07-04T21:58:00.000-07:00
nats start tmr.

50 back is the first event in the afternoon.

i'm leaving school at 11. yay.

i don't feel like blogging. yet i feel like blogging. ever get that feeling?

hmm.

areyoucomingonlineornotarghcanyoupleasecomeonlineineedtotalktoyou.

dumb Ozymanidas. i realised i suck at poetry analysis. blahdee. i'm just gonna hand up my super short essays. they're less than two pages for some writing that i'm calling essays to make them sound longer. wem.

i am going to slack for heats tmr. i do not care. ahaha.

i wonder if i take you home
would you still be in love baby.

2005-07-03T21:47:00.000-07:00
i cut my hair today.

the hairdresser almost burnt my scalp while drying my hair. : | and while she was trying to round to the other side of my head, she pulled the hairdryer plug out of its socket. ><

we saw some people filming some new serial outside the hairdresser's. jack neo was the director. the girls were dressed in turquoise tops and yellow skirts. such an eyesore. and there was this HUGE crowd gathered around the filming area to watch. mostly aunties and uncles.

we get a holiday tomorrow. thats great. i need the extra time to finish up alot of work and do some stuff that i've been putting off. so much for a youth day holiday. ><

just finished watching AI (artificial intelligence). its so touching. especialy the last part where david goes back to his house two thousand years later and realises his mother is gone and can never come back. :( i almost cried.

me and hiew are gonna watch alot like love after nats. yays. love!

i can't think of anything more to write here.

my hair is quite short now.

nats on tues. first event of the afternoon!

i'm gonna slack.

2005-07-02T22:35:00.000-07:00
i have been asked to blog by hiew. so here i am.

training today wasn't too bad. video taping in the morning. so slack. all we did were some starts and turns and videotaped our strokes. then went upstairs to watch the videos. my right pull deforms my stroke according to jaan. whatever that means. : | and my back start sucks. my butt just s i n k s when i start. ><

i still love saturday mornings.

afternoon training was lactate production. our favourite set! XD 6x50. and we got to do our own cool down this time. which was nicer than swimming 150m. tmr is tolerance. but not 30x50 or downhill. thanks goodness.

ronan keating's songs are quite nice.

that was random.

back to jiang again today. i was so tired from sleeping late the past week that i almost fell asleep in class. i was struggling to keep my eyes open and when the teacher called my name to ask me to answer some question it took abt 10 seconds for my brain to register that it was me she was calling. ><

my posts are getting shorter. "you must write in greater depth" she said. [quad L] but i can't be bothered to.

ah heck. i'm just gonna stop here. don't feel like sleeping.

this is the long goodbye
somebody tell me why.

2005-06-29T21:59:00.000-07:00
nats starting tuesday. i'm not worried for some strange reason. i don't really care la. i mean, i can't seem to move nowadays so i guess i'll have no one to blame but myself if i do a super slow time.

i didn't go for third lang today. i'm quitting already. finally. woot. but i haven'y put the form in yet. should so it as soon as possible i guess before the next test.

or lit teacher is back. mrslouisayue. i think she's quite a good teacher. rather strict, but she's quite fun also so i suppose the rest of the lit lessons for the remainder of the year should be ok.

i guess some people just have all the luck don't they? how hard do some of us work just to move that one measly step, yet these people don't do much, yet they get further than those who work their butts off. it hardly seems fair.

work work work work. so much work and we haven't even been back in school for a week yet. sucks. i'm already struggling with all this. wonder how i'm gonna cope with the rest of the year. maybe i should swim less. i really need the time. though when you think about it i'm training really little already. max six times. thats quite pathetic. small wonder i'm deproving i guess.

currently trying to get rs and maths pt done. i'm super frustrated. can't seem to do anything well nowadays.

oh well. guess i'd better get somemore work done then.

where are you??!

life is a rollercoaster
just gotta ride it.

2005-06-26T20:43:00.000-07:00
back to school tmr. ><

stupid no homework policy. may as well abolish it man. talk about not giving us homework over the hols. hah. everyone ended up rushing their pt's during the hols. they think just cos its due in week 2 that we have the time meet up and do everything by then? lol wishful thinking.

i'm not looking forward to school tmr man.who is? back the same old boring monotony of school life. typical day: wake up, go to school, tuition [varies], training, homework, chat abit, sleep.

it doesn't sound bad, but it is.

i'm moping. and blasting maroon five songs about jane. its nice. i just realised.

why aren't you online? i miss you so much. lol nvm.

i love you and i hate you. what else can i say.

imissyou imissyou imissyou. so much it hurts.

2005-06-25T22:16:00.000-07:00
back to school in 2 days. ><

uh huh. this my shit. all the girls gotta be like that. few times i've been around that track so its not just gonna happen like that. cos i ain't no hollaback girl!

woots. hollaback girl rocks. me and ems and rach yeung were singing it relentlessly today during both trainings. lol. funkaye.

speaking of training.

i can't train well again! my muscles were so soft. and i was dying to make like, 35 for back sprints. i mean, SHEESH. and the pulling at the end. don't even get me started man. oh, i seem to have started anyway so i'll just continue anyway. i did 100m. up till then my arms felt fine. but after i turned, BANG. my muscles started aching and i almost died. ok, so it wasn't that bad, but, you kinda get the drift right.

uh huh. this my shit!

woots. idon'twannagobacktoschoolican'twaitforasianagei'mgonnadietmri'mhavingsomuchfundoingthisnoactuallyi'mnotsad.

i'm kinda high. ignore that. trying to get a sugar rush. hahah.

i'll need one for training tmr. jaan's got some weirdo new set. but i think should be better than 30x50. oh well. we'll see.

2005-06-24T20:54:00.000-07:00
ok, national open is over. surprisingly though i didn't really want it to end. errm. i think ems and sam know why. they better not tell though. ^^

err. five nice things happened at open.

one. saw bestie baby mushroom mouseling ser again! nevermind if you didn't do so well ok mouseling! you'll have other chances. like during nats! and i'll try to find you a nice guy who looks like utt from thailand to lift your spirits!

two. qualified for asian age! for 50 back only, but still. !!!!! haha. that was my aim. and i made it. woots.

three. did pb for 50 back. finally broke the 32 barrier. did 31.96! woots.

four. came in third for 50 back for open. woots. unexpected medal. though i almost lost it. ><

five. errrrrrrrmmm. not telling. whee. wild horses couldn't drag it out of me. sam and ems know. if they tell i will personally wring their necks. and they better be honoured that i did it personally ok.

so. 200 back i did 2.38.something. missed pb by a second. 100 back did a pb by 0.01 for heats and did 1.11 for finals. >< i mean, SHEESH.

yea so anyway, that was open in the tiniest nutshell you could imagine. i must say i had alot of fun and that i actually miss the ss pool. now the ssc pool feels so warm. hahaha.

i have to traintraintrain super hard now for school nats. then right after that there's asian age so must traintraintrain again. bleah. but kinda looking forward to it.

upside down
bouncing off the ceiling
inside out
stranger to this feeling

2005-06-15T20:02:00.000-07:00

Your Geek Profile:

Academic Geekiness: None

Fashion Geekiness: None

Gamer Geekiness: None

Geekiness in Love: None

General Geekiness: None

Internet Geekiness: None

Movie Geekiness: None

Music Geekiness: None

SciFi Geekiness: None

How Geeky Are You?

one more

Your Extroversion Profile:
Activity Level: Very High
Friendliness: Very High
Cheerfulness: High
Sociability: High
Assertiveness: Medium
Excitement Seeking: Medium

How Extroverted Are You?

another one.

Your EQ is
153
50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

hey i didn't lie abt the things ok. i was perfectly honest. so there.

You Are From the Sun

Of all your friends, you're the shining star.
You're dramatic - loving attention and the spotlight.
You're a totally entertainer and the life of the party.
Watch out! The Sun can be stubborn, demanding, and flirty.
Overall, you're a great leader and great friend. The very best!

What Planet Are You From?

this is crap la. i'm not dramatic... am i? i'm not flirty. i'm not a great leader. man this is total hogwash. bleahh.

why so many, you ask. i was bored. nothing more to it than that.

hahah ser! don't worry only the two of us know about your weird dreams. they're scary. :|
i miss you loads bestie! can't wait to see you again at sg open! i'll sit with you and you'll tell me more about your funny dreams right. i can't wait can't wait can't wait! maybe i'll be able to shake this feeling of depression after i see you and all right. hope so. =) i love you darl!

gala's this saturday. very good. i can't wait. i think its gonna be fun. all the dancing and stuff. can't wait.

oh gtg for dinner now.byeeeeeee.

2005-06-12T20:08:00.000-07:00
unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong.

don't you sometimes think that? its as if one moment things were going perfectly, exactly as you imagined them, but the next moment, suddenly your world came crashing down, and your flawless picture just morphs into your worse nightmare in an instant.

i thought that i could start anew when i started this year. i thought i could put last year's wrong behind me, and that this year would be better. i was even stupid enough to think that i would understand what i didn't last year.

when i didn't, i tried. tried so hard to make sure that i did, that i had at least a vague idea of what was going on. i tried asking people. i tried practicing. i mean, hell! i even tried listening to her monotonous drone, trying to pick what little bits of information i could out of her effing explanations.

but did all these attempts work? NOOOOOOOOOO. not in the least. so here i am, asking myself, why, then? did i go through all this trouble? why, then, was i so keen on trying harder this year? i should have just not done anything. i mean, if i must fail, who bloody cares how much i fail by? well, except HER. of course.

i now ask my next question. should i ATTEMPT to work harder and try to buck up? i mean, i tried harder than last year, but, hey, i find that i'm doing no better. worse, in fact. so, i ask once again, what is the point?

i know that some people would say that at least i can swim and all, but, tell me, where in hell can swimming get me? get a few medals, shake some hands, thank you thank you etc. and at the end of the day? i'm left with some useless medals that are worth nothing, and i mean nothing, to me. all i'll have left is some useless scrap metal and lots of beautiful memories.

well, maybe i could get a sports scholarship, you say. well, that certainly is possible, provided i want to swim for that long and that i won't poop out. which is extremely likely. besides, if i wer to get a scholarship based on swimming, i'd be bound to swim for, effectively, the rest of my youth! what a wonderful, tempting thought.

yes yes. i am wallowing in self pity, why, you ask, am i wasting your time with all my worthless woes? well, for one, maybe, just maybe, it because this is my bloody blog?! yea. and anyway, if you thought your time was being whiled away on something perfectly useless like reading this entry, you wouldn't have read this far, now would you?

logic is wonderful.

2005-06-10T21:09:00.000-07:00
i'm depressed. there's no better way to decribe it. i'm depressed.

its raining. it seems the sky feels the same way i do.

can't swim can't study just what can i do?

here i am, once again, i'm torn into pieces...

i try to train hard. i try to study. i try to learn my work, but all to no avail. is it any wonder i can't do anything well? okok nvm. i shan't get you depressed with my problems.

i can qualify for asian age for my 50 back. i'm gonna try to get in.

i changed my template. does it tell you something? well.

i'll go and wallow in self pity now shall i?

2005-06-07T20:05:00.000-07:00
i haven't blogged for almost a month already. sorry eh.

anyway, we got back from sea age yesterday at abt 1430. man, sea age was a whole lot of fun! esp the first few nights when we played truth or dare. =D

i didn't do too badly for my events. ^^ did 1.10.80 for 100 back and came in 5th. [i was seeded 5th also.] and did 32.07 for 50 back [pb!] and came in third! yayyy. it was unexpected though. woots.

roomed with khoonnie. lol we had so much junk food stashed in our room and mum bought some more for us on the second day so we filled up all the three drawers in the cupboard in the room with chips, chocolates, biscuits, muesli bars etc. and there were m&m's in the fridge plus some drinks also. whee we had so much fun.

err. actually seeing that i've been away for almost a week, i don't really have much stuff to talk about. ><

but, what can i say, to be honest i though i'd spend one week in hell. but it didn't turn out so bad. ^^
the room service we ordered on the last night was great eh. [pizza courtesy of hong koon!] and we finished so much of the chips that i brought. and i think i stayed up until 5 am on the last night. confession. me and christel were walking up and down the corridor trying to find rooms where ppl were doing fun stuff so i stood in front of the security camera and christel looked under the doors. lol! but it was fun. tam hijacked my bed and sijia was sleeping on khoonnie's when me and christel went back to my room, whereupon christel promptly plunked herself on the other half of my bed and went to sleep so i plonked next to sijia and slept.lol. i think sometime in the night wan ting came in also. hahaha so funny.

ohohoh i almost forgot. the theme park that we went to after the gala dinner was so cool! thry kept it open for us until 12 something. the rides were amazing! they'd never allow this sorta rides in singapore. plus we don't have the necessary space. sadd.

the freefall and water ride rocked uh tam! the freefall thing was super fun. the thing brings you up slowly until you're like, 100 over metres off the ground, and you can see all the scenery and stuff, then it stays there for like 10 seconds or so, and just as you're starting to enjoy the scenery and all, the thing suddenly drops and you feel as if the seat has been taken out from under you and you're dropping, sorry, whizzing down. and less than 5 seconds later, you're back down on the ground. the feeling was totally exhilarating. super great man. and the water ride. i think its called log flume. there's one part where you go down the slope BACKWARDS. it was so cool!

none of us wanted to go back the next day. thats how much fun we were having!

haha ok so thats sea age in a nutshell. and i'm getting a new phone cos of the money i'm getting from sea age. i think there's a $1200 grant for getting a medal, and abt $240 back for getting a bronze. so. mum has finally agreed to get me a new phone. woots!!!!!!!!!!

yea ok gonna try and do maths pt now. byeeeeee-

2005-05-16T19:41:00.000-07:00
have you listened to holiday by greenday? its not bad.

i do not feel like going for sea age.

i do not feel like training hard.

i do not feel like training tomorrow morning.

i am typing in proper english.

eminem's ass like that is funky.

this method of blogging is wayy cool, no?

i am pissed.

why do we get such lousy teachers?

like limhuimiin or however you spell her name.

i hate maths more than ever.

can i not take maths or chinese ever again?

quitting swimming would be a good idea as well.

lock myself in a room.

hide in a corner and wallow in self pity

curse the world.

yea.

i'm in THAT kinda mood.

this is a sickk song.

ass like that.

wadya expect.

with that kinda name.

this is kinda tiresome huh?

the typing and the reading both.

i am feeling random.

can you tell?

i am pisseddd.

at the whole world.

what the eff is wrong with you?

everything, by all accounts.

is it my fault i suck at everything?

maybe.

but also due to the dominant stupid alelle.

not my fault.

mostly.

whatgoesaroundcomesaroundwhatgoesupmustcomedown-

aliciakeys rocks.

wem.

i am supposed to be working.

bleah.

blackholes.

worth a 100 points!

lol.

wem.

like i actually care.

computer music is stupid.

jimmy KOK.

loll.

ok nevermind.

sometimes i really hate you.

ciao.

2005-05-11T18:38:00.000-07:00
whoa i haven't blogged for so long! ok, not really, abt one week, ok, quite long.

hmm. eoi's are finally over. did ok for science overall i think. 65%. not too good but considering that some ppl actually failed, i guess its not bad. hmm. speaking of science. started physics again today. ktan again! bleah. he's bloody lame lah.

mmhmm. we're doing light for the first unit and we were talking about how the light goes into your eye. so he was saying, sometimes when you stand up your world sorta goes all black etc. and he was like, 'there's three types of blackouts.. the first one is the one where there electricity in your house is cut off and everything goes black.' i think he stopped for us to laugh cos he was like, 'errm. haha...?' -.- lamelamelamelame. everyone was like staring at him. like, uhhhhhhhhhh.

oh yea. uhm. what elsr. sea age is on the 4th 5th 6th of june but we're leaving on the 2nd cos if we were to leave on the 3rd we would get there at 4pm and then we wouldn't have time to rest, go and try the pool etc. so we're leaving on the 2nd at 9am. argh. i'm scared. i don't feel like going actually, but everyone says i must go so i'm going. sigh. and because of sea age i can't go for the nyaa camp! bah.

hipop with csc this sat. haha hope we can beat them cos the ppl there are all super pro asses. and its open! even harder to win. = ( nvm. go ssc! we've only lost one so far isit. yea i think so. but yay we get to see the nice new csc! ssc is still so old! start the renovations soon man! but even then it'll take so long to build. and costs what, 9-10 million? but we get spectator stands and all so thats nice. ^^

i decided not to go for training as you can tell. and so i lugged my stupid swimming bag all the way to school and all the way home today. I HAD TO TAKE AN MRT HOME!!!!!!! bah. with so many things to carry.

i like (some of) agatha christie's books!!!

ok wem that was so random. i'm getting hungry. off to look for food.

2005-05-03T17:03:00.000-07:00
we're like night and day, white and black, but what we have is a perfect match... =))

yay i love that song. we're using it for our gala dance. still choreographing it though. haha after exams we shall take a whole day to complete it how bout that? yay.

bleah tmr's maths and bio. i think i'm gonna fail maths. i sonply can't get anything that the teacher says and even when i listen hard in class and go home to revise and have maths tuition and ll i still can't do that hard ones. howhowhow???? >< diedie.

shitt. i hate exams.

me ser sal see and germ are gonna go for lunch tmr after the exams. yay. lets watch coach carter if we have time. :))

haiya don't feel like studying already. think i totally screwed up my chinese today. ><

feeling really sluggish now. like, i know i have to go and do maths and finish sciece but i just don't have the mental capacity right now to go and get the stuuf done. ill probably just fall asleep at the desk or sth until tmr. -.-

okok so i'd better stop all this procrastinating and go study now. or maybe i'll go a little later. sound familiar? XD

luckies for exams everyone!!!!!

2005-04-27T20:42:00.000-07:00

Your dating personality profile:

Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active.
Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Adventurous - Just sitting around the house is not something that appeals to you. You love to be out trying new things and really experiencing life. Your date match profile:

Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps his body in top shape.
Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Shy - You are put off by people who are open books. You are drawn to someone who is a bit more mysterious. You want to draw him out of his shell and get to know what he is all about.
Your Top Ten Traits

1. Athletic
2. Liberal
3. Adventurous
4. Big-Hearted
5. Wealthy/Ambitious
6. Practical
7. Traditional
8. Intellectual
9. Outgoing
10. Sensual
Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Athletic
2. Practical
3. Shy
4. Adventurous
5. Traditional
6. Funny
7. Intellectual
8. Big-Hearted
9. Wealthy/Ambitious
10. Religious

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions

ok wem. the original post is at the bottom.

2005-04-27T10:06:00.000-07:00
"very nice recovery session kat." he said. yea and i so wasn't trying my best to go as fast as i could for the stupid heart rate set. like wem and go soak your head cos i was trying hard and if you think i was slacking on purpose, well, thats just too bad cos i know i was trying!

argh sometimes he just gets on my nerves like, sooo much. like hello, obviously everyone tries to go hard during training and make the times right. like it was ny faukt i was tired. like its my fault we have so much hw. like its my faukt i suck so much i can't even train properly. fine so what if its my fault that i suck.

i mean hello?! can't you see that i'm tired? i did five-freaking-km of effing back! and i trained in the morning and i was out the whole day and everyone has their bad days and that was one of mine? like did you have to be so sacarstic? yea i know you hate me but thats still no reason to say that to me right.

i bet he's never that bad to everyone right. like when other ppl swim slow all he says is stuff like, whats wrong with you today and asks them whats up with them. but just because i train properly most of the time, when i'm tired and i have to go slow, he'll think i'm slacking. well fyi, just because i can do like 1.11 for heart rate sets sometimes and meet the times for cruise most of the time doesn't mean that i can do it all the time right. i mean, the only freaking person who can do that all the time is kang and only cos he has transport everywhere and he doesn't have french, piano, third lang etc.

eoieoieoieoieoieoieoieoieoieoieoieoieoi.
ptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptpt.
hwhwhwhwhwhwhwhwhwhwhwhwhwhw.

ah WHATEVER.

LIFE SUCKS.

2005-04-24T13:00:00.000-07:00
yay we beat ssa. quite unexpected though. woot.guess we were just lucky cos alot of the coe and another pro ppl didn't go cos of the aussie age thing. so it was quite lucky ^^ even the guys won! their first victory. haha not bad not bad.

and i did 1.03.74 during the 100 free relay. woot! i was so pleased man. and i did it when i was like, dying after the 100 back.guess its team spirit huh. haha. cos i was the third swimmer, and me and their (ssa's) third swimmer jumped in at almost the same time but when we were swimming, she was like, ---zoom! and i kept up with her for like 25m and then i was like, sooper tired so i figured that i'd better go abit slower to save energy. and after the free turn (and my free turn isn't that good) she was like one body length in front of me and i thought, shit la can't catch up already. but at the last 20m or so i figured that was my last swim and all so i figured, ah what the heck, just chiong la. so i did and i ended up touching the wall abit behind her only. haha so yay i did 1.03 at last! but back was horrid. i did 1.12 and 1.14. and this morning at training i did 1.12 somemore ok. >:|

ah yes, speaking of this morning's training, i think it was disgusting. ok, the set as far as i can remember it is:

warm up
8x50 odd free even back.
8x50 form kick
6x100, 50 drill, 50 buildup. (form)

en 1
for backers (or backer, namely, me.),
4x400, 2 pull, 2 swim
+
2x50 sprint.

main set (en 3)
10x100 heart rate on 2.30
(i did all back!!!!!)

warm down
6x200 back (again!!!!!)

there. so i did 5.1km back. yuck. and as if that wasn't enough, i got a headache while swimming the main set cos of the sun in my eyes and all that. so i was doing crap times. but, wth, i don't care.

someone remind me never to train on sundays after the hipop meets again unless i didn't train enough the whole week. (i only did 5 times this week.)

i'm supposed to be working on my history performance task actually. but my brain's abit fried from too much sun so this is sorta like a relaxation thing.

oh and ben wants me to post this so i shall.

all you elite ppl who want susidy for your tshirts, you gotta help cos if you don't you won't get your subsidy. and if your sibling helps but you don't, your sibling will get the subsidy but YOU WON'T. so you all better help. more info is on the elite squad's blog. right at the top of my links.

yup. so better complete my work now. byee-

2005-04-21T17:19:00.000-07:00
hello hello, hola! i'm at a place called vertigo! yay.breaking my back just to know your name. they say a hero can save us but i'm not gonna stand here and wait. you're my wonderwall. and i almost had you, but i guess that just doesn't cut it. can you feel the love tonight. i walk this empty street.

ok haha that was total crap. i was ust bored. oh wait. why am i bored. i'm not supposed to be bored. i'm supposed to be doing my history pt. ah thats it. i'm not doing it. XD oh wem.

well nothing much has been happening i guess. cept that kang got 2nd for 100 fly! so pro. >.<

and i can't train properly. i trained twice on tues and in the morning i could train properly but in the afternoon i just couldn't move. i think jaan thought i was slacking or sth. he was like " kat, quality training from a quality swimmer!" like hello i wasn't slacking. i was trying but i was dying. like its my fault isit. hah. think i'm burning out? possible. yay lets quit. i wanna quit. i don't feel like swimming anymore. so lousy anyway so train for what. bet i'm gonna get last for sea age. or they may kick me out of the team cos i'm too lousy. hah. then jaan will hate me even more.

and i'm not training now cos if i go i'll just be lousy and slow again so i may as well not go right.

yea you can tell i'm demoralised uh.

not surprising seeing that i can't do anything properly. i can't even understand the stupid maths linear graphs thing!!! bet i'm gonna fail maths again this year. >< i simply could not understand anything ok.

lots of complaining going here. if you don't wanna read it just piss off. no one's asking you to read this. and if you're inclined to tag hate tags on my blog by any chance, tag away. i did not, do not, and will not ever care.

so. i shall disappear-

2005-04-18T20:05:00.000-07:00
aha.

don't have much time so i shall blog a short one. yay. i smell fried fish! yumyum. mum is cooking it. smells heavenly. mmm i wanna eat!

uhm. kang is coming back today i think. yay kang is such a proass. unlike me :((( he got third for 200 fly for aussie age!!!!!!!! propro.

i'm trying to do my history pt but i can't find any info on my thing! sigh.

training tmr morning again. i don't feel like going. and i can't go on wed either cos i've got some cle workshop and its like until 6 plus. sighs. i wanna train. but i also don't wanna train. oh what do i want. i'm confused. wemm.

i re-did my links. so now they're not so confusing. yay aren't i good? did them in 5 mins! wheeee.

i was sooooper bored in class today so i started writing like, quite big, on science pad, abt crap stuuf and all and i filled like 3 pages. haha. so fun thought. think i'm gonna start a collection. XD

oh. for gala nite i think me peck sam ems mayumi errm dunno who already. errm ok anyway we're gonna dance! i can't dance! nvm. just for fun but how to choreograph in such a short space of time? how to learn? ahhhhhhhh. just anyhow do lah i guess. something's better than nothing and at least we contributed to the whole gala thing right. yea. whee. but it should be fun. :D

oh ok i got a nice topic for my history thing. better go and do it now. byebye.

why do you build me up, buttercup baby just to let me down...

2005-04-12T10:25:00.000-07:00
hey guys. i realised i've been blogging very little. guess its cos i've had very little time these past few days. oh well. but i'm here again aren't i? =)) whee.

haha at home slacking now! yay! cos our school has a holiday! whee.

kang is in australia now. he's swimming in the aussie age. wahh i wanna go too! i'll never make it! :((( too slow already.

ah heck. I SHALL NOT CARE. :) -smiles-

oh this is such a crap post. X |

oh yah. lang is back! oops sorry i know this is ABIT late but hey, better late than never right? yeaa. so --> WELCOME BACKK!

shall be guai and go do my work now. byebye-

2005-04-07T20:30:00.000-07:00
today was surprisingly nice. ^^ not too much of a bore or anything.

first block geog. i rushed the hilda taba table last night until 11 something and kohby didn't even ask to see it at all kae. but she did go through the floods thing again and i can't deny that i did learn something from the table so i guess its fine. geog test has been moved to next thurs!

i have toffee stuck in my teeth. =S

second block lit. ok, so this was one of the more boring lessons. each of us had to present our chapter analysis and it was lie, when you're explaining a cetainpoitm, the sereneseowwoman would just cut in and add some of her own views that are already quite obvius and she's confuse everyone and stuff. so hardly anyone was paying attention. we were all just quietly stoning for fear of being cut by the knife-of-a-tongue. i actually generally like lit but the way she teaches it makes it staler than ck's stale mouldy old bread. but it was so slack. i was talking to my pinafore! =))

recess is the best thing in a day apart from lunch!

english afterwards. llll was in a surprisingly good mood today. she had her hair tied up. i supposed the ponytail made her head lighter and cooled her down. >< but i was writing rachie (yeo's) letter and so i wasn't really paying attention to anything she said. =p oops.

maths. >< i hate maths. we were doing some stupid balloon calculation thing which none of us actually understood and so the whole class was in chaos, with ppl talking and stuuf. so it was good. i also got to sit next to sal cos os went home.

os is sick. and on her birthday. sadde.

science! in class. fahy is ok i guess. science is one of the thing that i actually pay attention in in class. haha. but i wasn't really either. ^^ tiddy was taking notes for us. yay tiddeh.

lunch! yumyum. had two dumplings. whee. lunch and recess rocks. i live for thos two breaks.

history! yay i like history. mizar is so slack. haha. but at the same time you actually learn stuff so thats quite good. when he came in everyone was cooing at ayam and she started blushing and mizar was also grinning like an idiot. i think he knows that ayam likes him and all. ^^ farnie. and ayam was steadfastly trying not to stare too rapturously at him cos she knew that everyone was observing her. lol.

mizar has an ipod!!!! unfair. he also has an imac!!!! he was trying to show it off to us in class today but no one was paying attention to him trying to load the music onto his laptop so he was like " i'm not trying to show off my ipod or anything." (which obviously he was) after which the whole class started hyperventilating and cooing over the ipod.

ayam said it was ugly and she was the only one who thought so. yea right man. who're you kidding ayam? wem la. how can an ipod be ugly????? = | ahaha. anyway, mizar has an ipod and its unfair.

i want a new phone too. its one $188 with mine! its the 7260.

tmr's slack too!

pe recess science english history assembly! and there's third lang. watching fanfan la tulipe. nicey^^

yup. training tmr again! last 3 days before the hard stuff starts again. >< diediedie.

die.dead.

2005-04-03T18:10:00.000-07:00
ok this post is basically here to remind me of this site that has all the indigenous sports and stuffs so you guys who wanna use it can too ok. TODAYS ORIGINAL POST IS BELOW OK. anyway the site is here

buhhbye

1st hi-pop meet!

2005-04-03T01:41:00.000-08:00
argh stupid firefox just hung so i have to retype my whole post all over again. WTF

anyway here i am blogging one day late as usual. ><

yesterday was the first hi-pop meet. [hi-pop stands for high performance league] we were training and then all these elite/sicc ppl started to arrive. [neither team has enough ppl so they combined into one team] and we were doing all the breast drills like the kickboard one and i think we must've looked quite silly :|

i was panicking cos i though i saw all these big ppl and i thought they'd surely be faster than us. apparently i'm even blinder than i thought without my glasses and they were onlt about div's size. lol.

anyway before the meet jaan got us all together and went through our events with us. peck realised she was doing 4 events [the max allowed is 3] and when she told jaan he was like "F***!" and when he was trying to re-arrange the people he was like" i hate it when this happens! its so F***ing annoying!" and he suddenly noticed that the swimmers were all staring at him and he was like"oh sorry" lol. amusing.

ok so the meet started at abt 1830? not sure. and the first event was the medley relay. thought i was gonna do like a 1.15 or sth for my 100 back and thats like really slow but in the end i did a 1.11. how cool is that? haha. thats pb + 1 btw. and then after that i had a sooper long break cos my next event (100 back again) was the last event before the free relay which was the last event. and most of that time was spent eating rachel yeo's nicenice cookies, cheering, and slacking around. anyway for my individual 100 back i did 1.12. tired already la. but i realised that both those times were faster than asean's 1.13 even though i was all rested and everything at asean and not last night. oh well. at least i know i should be able to go faster than 1.10. [i hope]

straight after that was free relay. i was still shaking when i got on the blocks. but not bad i did a 1.05. haha. pb+1 also. wem la. i was tired! -excuses excuses- but overall i was quite pleased with my times. was actually rather amazed with the 1.11 for back. whee~

hmm. the parents went out for dinner so we ate dinner at the club. addy+rachyeo went into the palms to eat cos they didn't wanna squeeze at a table with me + wen + jgan + samm + kang. -.- but had beef noodles for dinner follwed by chendol for dessert. yumyum ^^

me and wen also completed the ssc elite squad tshirt design thing last night. i think the designs are up on ssc swimnatics so elite squad ppl go take a look kae. yay they're nice.

yea i think that was the day in a not-too-small-nutshell. =))) oh and i have to chabge my jiang for the next 7 weeks cos of the hi-pop meets! -wahh

and EMS you better come for the next hi-pop meet and swim and not go for some stupid concert or whatever okkk. yay.

yayy i <3333 ssc elite squad! byebye!

2005-03-30T10:48:00.000-08:00
hi guys! back in singapore! came back from asean two days ago but i havne't had time to blog. whee asean was funn! except i didn't do any pb's at all kae. : oh well, i think it was too close to NAG. i got 4th for 100 back! argh. did 1.13! bleah >< but came in 3rd for 50 fly. lol. and got 2nd for 50 back. nvm. and i bought a cow pillow! its called moomoo. how cute. also bought an op blouse. its funkae.

uhm

the gala was quite stoned actually. haha. but it was fun sitting with all the girls and talking and stuff. [and shrieking about the cockroach under the table ((((:] lol. the food was good. i ate pasta and the indonesian wanton noodles. nice uh. the wantons were fried instead of boiled or whatever it is they do with the wantons in singapore. yumm. the performances were ok, but the ace performance was so funny! joel and desmond were damn funny! joel managed to ballance in stilletos! was hilarious. yay stacy's mum has got it going on!

yepp. guess that was asean in a nutshell. oh yea, i also exchanged 2 shirts. nicenice. ^^

then yesterday. we had technique. its tech for the next 2 weeks. fun but before that was dryland. 1 hour! so tiring. all the toning exercises for the muscles. my stomach muscles are still aching. >< sadde. but the tech was slack la. i luv tech! its so funn!!!!! <3333

err.im eating ritz now. whahahaha. its com studs. im naughty! wheee... lalalala.

doing photoshop again. its so boring. i mean, wem, we did it last year already. the only thing thats good abt comp studs is that we get to waste a whole hour on the com. hahahaha.

oh speaking about wem, i started it and now even jaan has started saying it. he said something [can't remember what] and then after that ben said "nvm, we'll just kill you" and then jaan started at him and then he was like, "wem mate, wem" hahahaha. yay! i like the sound of it. wemwemwemwemwemwemwem! haha ok i'm nuts.

i'll pay attention now =p cyaaa

2005-03-20T17:52:00.000-08:00
nag is finally over! yayy. very nice. total i think i did 6-7 pb's. nice. and got one gold one silver and one bronze medal. how nice ^^ all for back. hahaha. 100, 50 and 200 back respectively. after nag we had team dinner but i didn't go cos it was mum's bdae so went back to have dinner.

err.

went for the asean cup briefing this morning. we found out that only 15 people are going! thats like half the original amount?? wahhs. andmayumi's not going either so no relay team!!!! so sadde. and i have to swim like 8 events! 50, 100, 200, 400 free, 50, 100 back, 50, 100 fly. >< bleah. the only thing thats actually nice abut asean is the gala dinner at the end and being with all my darling elite peeps! fwee. can't wait can't wait can't wait!!!

uhm. gtg now. maybe blog tmr.

2005-03-18T22:37:00.000-08:00
yay today went to ben's house to bake. i got there late so by the time i got there they had already baked a cake for addy's bdae today. lunch was spaghetti again! yay. really great. -yumyum

so before we started the second lot of baking, me and ems decided to go and get oursleves a slurpee each from the 7-eleven near ben's place. so we walked out of the house, and walked straight. realised it was the wrong road. went back. turned left from his place instead. walked into a little side exit. walked abit. realised it was wrong AGAIN. stood there like morons and wondered why the hell we couldn't find it. decided to go back to ben's place and ask for directions. nice rachel volunteered to come with us. realised it was the exit next to the second one that we went out of. felt like idiots. [at least i did. dunno bout ems] laughed like mad. got slurpee's. went back. yayness.

lol! nice recount eh. if i wrote like that for english i'd fail man. have english pt to do! -sobs

so we baked cookies. drizzled nice chocolate n it. selling them for swimmer's fund. basically for elite swimmers to get tshirts. haha. like, $1 subsidy each? nice. lol.

100 free tmr too. notnice. i don't like free. wahhs. oh well, just slack it off. only one event tmr though. whee.

team dinner after that! yayyy. pizza hut or sizzler? sizzler is way nicer but its also wayy more ex. oh wells. as long as its a dinner with all the darling elite ppl i don't mind! as long as we don't each hawker centre or sth. oh dear. i'm spoilt. :|

yay. can't wait for tmr!!!!

what goes around comes around, what goes up must come down...

2005-03-17T10:54:00.000-08:00
hey look, i already said i was sorry if i unknowingly hurt someone's feelings kae. i know in this case it was yiqing, so, look, qing, if i hurt your feelings, i'm sorry k? i mean, we're all swimmers, i don't wanna have any misunderstanding or anything ok? so, anyway, here it is kae. hope this is ok.

2005-03-11T21:47:00.001-08:00
we won the inter level relay!!!!!!!!! whoopeedooo!!!! nicenice. i thought we were gonna be second actually cos 409 was ahead of us. but the last girl over there was so slow so i just overtook her! yayy.

wheee. swim carn was fun. i like swim carn.

after that went training again. sigh. arrived at the club at abt 6 cos we took so long to get out of the fcukingcarpark so did like 6x25 sprints and went home.

yay. bye.

2005-03-09T21:08:00.000-08:00
whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. why is there so much homework to do??????????? science report, lit PT, philo journal... ok, fine, i admit that the lit PT and philo journal are my fault cos i waited until the last minute to do them. and the last minute is... NOW! and here i am still blogging. -wah

i wish i didn't have swimming. then i'd have more time to do my work and revise. i mean, in class i get scolded for not doing worksheets that are totally unimportant anyway... like idiotspoon's stupid confucius worksheet. its not my fault that i'm so tired after training is it?

i should not be blogging, yet here i am. in my 13 years, i have done many things thaat i shouldn't have. well, thats the way it is. and i haven't eaten dinner yet. and its 9. cool. training again... argh.

i've got a headache. happy birthday jon.

2005-03-07T21:59:00.000-08:00
oboy. i am pissed. i jst found out that the RS thing that's due tmr is individual!!! argh. so now i have to wait for hiew to send it to me and then i can do it. and tmr morning have training somemore. diediedie. >< and i thought i was done with all the stupid homework cos i just finished doing my CLE goals. arghhh. i wrked so hard today somemore kae. i am proud of myself cos last year i wouldn't even have bothered to do any of this and would just have given excuses. like _______. *ahem*

oh well. ser is taking so long to send it! -wahhhhs.

-wails- i'll die tmr! tmr's schedule is: training @ 0530, then go to school, then got 1500 run for sports fest, then training @ 5pm. blehhs. >< so tired already somemore.

but, anyway, to pass the time while waiting: fabio's sitting on the couch in the coaches' room and jaan doesn't know! hahaha. he thinks rachel goh 'kidnapped' her! cos that day jaan had to leave early and then gui didn't wanna give her out (the meanie) and so he dumped her (lol) in the coaches room. and so jaan hasn't been able to find her. lol!

ARGH! where's ser????? i wanna sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ooooh. there. she's sent it. sorry if this is all really incoherent. nvm eh? forgive a deranged girl. ^^

gtg do it now i guess. i LOVE tmr.

2005-03-06T18:20:00.000-08:00
somehow i find that training on sunday mornings aren't as other times although the sets can be harder. dunno. today's set was

10x100 max with fins n 1.30
10x75 max on 1.30
10x50 max on 1.30
10x25 max on 1.30

the 100's weren't bad and neither were the 50's but the 75's were a tad more tiring. though overall i must say i ENJOYED it. ok. not so much enjoyed it but it was... different... in a way...

supposed to be doing lit pt. its due tmr but wth. i don't care. can always do it later.
and tmr there's stupid spoon's test. idiot her. French Connection United Kingdom her.
oh well.

here i am missing you...